Snappo!

So, I've already posted today, but I had to post again. I broke my toe! A fracture of the proximal phalanx. Yeah, during sparring class. But the good news is, I got a kick in before I was finished for the day. I can officially say I've broken more bones in my adult life than I did in my childhood.

Taking the Plunge

I haven't done my reading yet, but I felt compelled to write. I've been mulling over a conversation we had with some friends this weekend. This month has been difficult for us financially and spiritually. Financially, our family is about to undergo a transition. We are excited that God is in control but terrified at what the final product will be. We know God has our best interests at heart and will trust that, as we move forward, He will guide us. As you are trusting God financially, spiritually you will always go through a testing process. We have been enlightened as to what is really important in life and what our purpose truly is. It all sounds positive but when you are going through it, it feels horrible. We shared some of the thoughts we had with friends who share our faith and they were so encouraging. It was difficult and terrifying to take the plunge of vulnerability and transparency, but as we parse through it today we realize that the risk of sharing with our friends was so worth it. They were supportive and insightful and most importantly, slow to judge. This is what Christian community should be. I have felt hungry for true community and almost fearful that it didn't exist. Again, God comes through for us and uses our faith family as the avenue.

You Will Fail

Today's reading led me to Luke 22. This is the chapter of the last supper, the moment Jesus tells his disciples that He will die, and furthermore their faith will be tested. Simon Peter, specifically, is informed of his upcoming failure. I'm sure Peter must have felt a sense of betrayal at the news. "Jesus, how could you imagine that I would deny you?" Enraged and wounded he informs Jesus that he would die for Him. Then, Simon Peter denies his Lord, not only once, but three times. I have felt this sense of disappointment, while I admit, I'm sure Peter's was a little more intense. But to deny your best friend three times is horrible. But to do it and then remember that your best friend already knew you would fail him in this away, must have stung the heart with great intensity. Did Simon Peter hear Jesus' words echoing in his ears after the offense? "Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers." (Luke 22:-31-32) Simon, you will fail me, but don't let your faith in me fail you. This is just powerful to me today. I will fail God from time to time, but will I allow my faith in God to fail me? Brings new perspective to mistakes and faith.

Meanwhile Back At The Pyramid...

My reading has taken me to the life of Moses. This is a story we all think we've heard a million times. But today, as I was reading the first two chapters of Exodus I noticed a trend in the life of Moses. He was compelled to take up the cause of the underdog. It starts with his walk through the neighborhood. He notices "one of his own people" being beaten by an Egyptian. He intervenes, which results in death for the Egyptian. The next day he notices two Hebrews in a disagreement and again goes to intervene. This time he is called on his actions from the previous day and is compelled to take it on the run. Now, as he is on the run he comes across the seven daughters of the Midian priest, Reuel. They are being harassed by shepherds trying to take over the watering hole. Again, Moses comes to the rescue.
What I noticed about these stories is that this is the man who will lead the Israelites to freedom. This is the man who will intervene on their behalf before Pharaoh under the direction of the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. I operated under the assumption that God called Moses to do something he didn't even want to do, and that God called Moses to do something that was outside of his nature to do. I am starting to think I was wrong. Moses always had a soft spot for the Hebrew people. I believe that is why God chose him to lead the same people out of Egypt. God didn't force Moses to function outside of who he was, God called Moses to take who he was to a higher level. God created Moses and he knew what was in Moses' heart to do. God asked Moses to fulfill his purpose. God gave Moses His approval. Of course Moses was freaked out! Moses knew it was something that needed to be done, and God knew Moses was the man for the job.
So today I ask the question, what things do I feel compelled to do? Do they fit with those things I have always felt passionate about? Is that a way for me to decide whether or not they fit into God's plan for my life? Already I can think of one thing that doesn't fit into what I have always felt a passion for. This view could change everything.

Ten Commandments

Dad (God) has been talking to me lately about teaching the kids to have a quiet time. I wasn't sure how to go about it. He suggested I start teaching them the Ten Commandments. I'm not sure if you realize this or not, but it's hard to teach the Big Ten to a 7 and 8 year old. I wanted them to understand what the rules meant in their world today. When you get to no graven images, you have to do a little explaining and then apply it to today. Well, I am glad to report that it has been going better than I thought it would. I have been sitting down with each commandment at the end of my personal quiet time and asking Dad to help me put the command into terms they'll understand for a long time. He gives me the insight I need and I present it to the kids. They love it! After we have talked about the commandment for about 10 minutes i have them either write what it means to them or draw a picture of what it means to them. Their pictures have been fabulous. I love seeing how it is interpreted in their minds. After they are done with their pictures I ask them to write a prayer to God. These prayers have touched my heart more than I realized they would. I don't always get to read them all. Sometimes my son asks me not to read his prayer. I respect his request. It's his relationship with God and I don't want him to feel that I have intruded on it.
As I watch their young minds grasp the concept of God's rules I understand how simple the rules are to learn and how difficult they are to live. When we got to commandment #1, we really learned some things about ourselves we were not ready to admit. Things like the X-Box can become a god, the Wii can become a god, even people can become gods. It has been neat to watch them take that knowledge into their day and use it.
In case you are interested here is just a sample of what is being posted in our home class to remind us of the commandments we have learned so far.

Commandment #1
No other gods. Only me. Kid application ~ If it takes my focus off of God it could become a god.

Something to Share

I saw this today and wanted to share.

When I Say I Am a Christian by: Carol Wimmer

When I say ... I am a Christian
I'm not shouting "I am saved."
I'm whispering "I get lost"
That is why I chose this way.

When I say ... I am a Christian
I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble
and need someone to be my guide.

When I say ... I am a Christian
I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I am weak
and pray for strength to carry on.

When I say ... I am a Christian
I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed
and cannot ever pay the debt

When I say ... I am a Christian
I'm not claiming to be perfect.
My flaws are too visible
but God believes I'm worth it.

When I say ... I am a Christian
I still feel the sting of pain.
I have my share of heartaches
which is why I seek HIS name.

When I say ... I am a Christian
I do not wish to judge.
I have no authority
I only know I'm loved.

Skandalon

Today my reading took me to Luke 17:1 - 2. It's kinda funny because I was listening in on a conversation that discussed this particular topic, I was talking with Dad(God) and asking Him to help me understand what my responsibility to other's was. So, when I came to my assignment today I had to laugh at how faithful He is to answer me. For those unfamiliar with it, here it is in the King James Version.

Then said he unto the disciples, It is impossible but that offences will come: but woe unto him, through whom they come! It were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he cast into the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones.

That's pretty intense and I would never want to cause someone to stumble and I would never want to hurt someone's relationship with God. I've heard many interpretations of this particular verse and when I read it today I did a little research. The word used for offences is skandalon (look familiar, scandal?). The definition is the movable stick or trigger of a trap, a trap stick, a trap, a snare, any impediment placed in the way and causing one to stumble or fall, any person or thing by which on is (entrapped) drawn into error or sin. There is more, but they are pretty much the same idea. The offence here is an intentional one. It is a deliberate attempt to cause someone to stumble. It is a snare or trap I set for them and for that Jesus says WOE TO YOU! I've always operated under the assumption that I'm responsible to those who are watching me. I am responsible to behave in a manner that won't cause them to stumble or fall or else I'm in trouble. It's a little overwhelming I must admit to have this responsibility. I've based this idea on Luke 17:1. But as I examined it closer today I understand what offence means. It is a deliberate attack on their relationship with God. I am called to live a holy life, but not for the sake of those who are watching me, but for the sake of my soul. I am called to love others around me with the love of Christ, for the sake of their souls. I can do that!

Another Look at Feral Christianity

What does it mean to me now to be a Feral Christian? I ask myself this question once in a while. Does it mean that I am a wild woman doing whatever I want? Does it mean that I am crazy and weird? What does it mean? To be feral means to exist in a natural state, as animals or plants; not domesticated or cultivated; wild. As I endeavor to apply that concept to my faith I find it takes on many meanings to me. Here are my thoughts on it today.
I possess certain personality traits, whether handed down to me by my parents genetically or learned as a result of my environment. I often feel I struggle against certain aspects of my personality. Those struggles lead me to believe that maybe I was trained to abandon certain aspects of my personality that I should have clung to. I realize I am making little sense so I will draw on an example from my life as a parent.
My daughter and son are very strong willed. They are headstrong and persistent. My husband and I are training them to use that strength to glorify God. The struggle we have is this: we don't want to drive that persistence out of them, but we need them to be able to submit to godly authority. The easier task would be to teach them to stop being strong-willed, BUT isn't that a part of their personality that God has put in them?
I watch my children play and run and laugh and giggle and envy them their carefree mentality. Can't I as an adult maintain a portion of the childlikeness? Instead I was taught that I must grow up and mature. While I agree that I must mature in my faith, isn't there some room for that childlike heart? Doesn't God tell us that our hearts are to be pure as children's hearts in Matthew 18? I'm not suggesting that I revert to my adolescence and act immaturely, but I possessed an innocence, a naive courage, a wildness that only the young possess. I aim to get back to that part of me. That part of me believed that God could do anything through me. That part of me believed that God was bigger than the air I breath. That part of me was wild with wonder and amazement at the God I served. That is the feral Christianity I speak of. A return to the natural state God intended me to exist in, uncultivated and undomesticated, tended only by His divine hand.

Things That Happen

As I am reflecting on the week, I must admit I feel a sense of accomplishment. I have used different parenting techniques this week and have seen some positive changes. It's required a little more intestinal fortitude then I thought I had, but I surprise even myself sometimes. I've finished off those little tasks that I've been procrastinating on. Why I procrastinate I'll never know...I'll have to find the answer to that one...tomorrow.
We've also gotten a story written about our men's volleyball team. You can check out what has been said about our Eagles here. It was so neat for the guys to have something written about their efforts this year. We are excited to see what the season holds.
Finally, the decisions we are looking to make, are somewhat intimidating but it is so nice to know that no matter what we decide, we are in God's hands. Change used to freak the tortillas out of me, but I'm no longer afraid of what change holds. Changes that we go through have been difficult from time to time, but we've always come through strong with our DAD'S (I refer to God here) help. He's never let us down. He's always seen us through. And He's always taught us something about who we are and what strengths and weaknesses He sees in us. We are truly blessed and as we approach this weekend of much needed rest we know we are in His care, whether we are safe or not is another question.

I Am Qualified To Be A Parent

I’ve begun reading a book by Dr. Laura Schlessinger titled Stupid Things Parents Do To Mess Up Their Kids. If you are looking for an honest look at parenting in American today, you’ll want to check it out. It very bluntly discusses her views on what is wrong with the parenting mentality in today’s society and how it can be corrected. It’s harsh and may offend many who have read it or will read it, but it’s a good read so far, even if it is a little slower than her more current books.

That being said, this book pointed out a flaw in my parenting mentality, which leads me to a realization. Sidebar, I hope I am always having realizations about my parenting. These realizations let me know I am always evolving as a parent. Okay so back to the realization, I know something about being a human being and therefore I am qualified to raise my children. I am not stupid, dumb, ignorant, unreasonable (although that can be argued from time to time), or incapable. I have survived to this point without killing myself. I am relatively happy. I am somewhat productive. I contribute to my community. I am qualified to speak on the topic of being a successful human being.

True story, I found myself asking my 7-year-old today whether or not she needed water for her martial arts class. I was asking her! Of course, she responded no. She was not willing to take the time to get the water she needs for the taxing class she would be attending. I started to lecture her on why she needed water and how important it was. I then proceeded to remind her of the most recent episode of dehydration we experienced, where she emptied her tummy EIGHT times in one day. Then, it hit me, a question that reverberated within me so loudly that it could only be divine. “WHY ARE YOU ARUGING WITH A SEVEN YEAR OLD? YOU KNOW BETTER THAN HER!” I paused for a moment speechless and still. My response could be only one thing. “Elisa go and get yourself some water. Don’t be lazy. You need the water and I know that better than you do. So just do it and then get into the truck.” She didn’t argue. She didn’t whine. She didn’t comment. She simply got her water and got into the truck. AMAZING! I am qualified and I am experienced enough to raise my children. I have something to teach them. I have something to impart into their lives. God thinks so. Why didn’t I?

Mediocre Christianity

So, just to recap, we participated in the tournament and survived. The kids did much better than they thought they would and I did about what I was expecting. It was a great experience and I am so glad we had the opportunity to do it. We all learned a valuable lesson on what it takes to be good at anything you do.
Which leads me to my next topic. I'm going to ask the question and hopefully I'll get some feedback. I really need to hear from anyone who has an opinion on this. Here's the question.
I hear many people talk of being Christan and giving God the glory in all we do. How can we give God the glory if we are performing at mediocre levels? AND...If we pursue excellence in all we do, how do we avoid crossing the line of making our performance more important than serving God?
I'd love to hear any thoughts on these questions. Whether you have a Christian perspective or not.

Tournament

So, tomorrow my kids and I will compete in our first martial arts tournament. I'm nervous, but I'm not so much nervous for me as I am for my kids. They are working hard to improve their forms and will most likely do well. I am also nervous for myself, but the nerves are manageable. Isn't it funny how we worry more about our kids and their stuff a little more than we worry about ours.
Anyway, I'll let you know how it all goes.

A Test Of Spirit

So this weekend at martial arts class we had to do an exercise. Sah bom nim called it a test of your spirit. I stood in front of a classmate and threw punches at him. He was only allowed to block. He could not move or punch back, only block. Sounds easy right, WRONG? As I was throwing punches two classmates, one to my right, one to my left, were to keep me from success. They could hold my arms, push me back, get in my way, and even punch me if they wanted. On hearing my assignment, my heart cringed. I didn't want to do this. It was going to be too hard. It was going to hurt. Then I heard another voice from somewhere deep inside of me. You can do this. Just stay focused on your target. Don't let anything stop you. This particular voice hasn't been around for too long. It's a new voice. But I really like it.
I started to think about something yesterday. Why do I like this class so much? I always hear people comment on the amount of strength I have. "You're such a strong person." "You're so brave." How is it possible for people to see something in you that you don't even see in yourself? I have never seen myself as strong. I have always seen myself as fearful and cowardly. But taking this class has drawn my attention to some of the strength I possess. I am not as cowardly as I believe myself to be. I am not as fearful as I feel. IT is just further proof that feeling is not reality. What I like about this class is this: It reminds me that I am strong enough, with God, to accomplish anything He assigns me to do. I can do all things, through Christ, who gives me strength.

Aesop's Fables

I've started reading through Aesop's Fables in order to add a little more culture to my reading. I never realized the humor in these stories. I really enjoy them and look forward to reading more. My favorite so far is the one below.

The Mischievous Dog
A DOG used to run up quietly to the heels of everyone he met, and to bite them without notice. His master suspended a bell about his neck so that the Dog might give notice of his presence wherever he went. Thinking it a mark of distinction, the Dog grew proud of his bell and went tinkling it all over the marketplace. One day an old hound said to him: Why do you make such an exhibition of yourself? That bell that you carry is not, believe me, any order of merit, but on the contrary a mark of disgrace, a public notice to all men to avoid you as an ill mannered dog."
Notoriety is often mistaken for fame.

Skiing the Big Mountain

So this week we realized a truth about our parenting. It is one of those truths that you learn and slap yourself in the head in vintage V8 fashion. How did we miss that one? We have searched for a new perspective on our parenting. We've felt like idiots who beat their head against the wall hoping the wall will crumble before concussion sets in. It is the grace of God that continues to enlighten us to the new and wonderful lessons of parenthood, and I am forever thankful for his faithfulness.
So you're wondering what the lesson is, or maybe you're not. I'm going to tell you anyway. My son tackled a fear this week. He has been wanting to ski with us for a couple of years now, but we've been sending him to ski school to prepare him. This year he got his chance. He was terrified and we knew it. To be honest I was terrified. I wanted him to succeed. I wanted him to feel the confidence that comes from tackling a fear. He was willing to try but reluctant to put himself completely into the task. After about one hour of "negotiating" my son took on the bunny hill. My son won. After he conquered the bunny hill he was ready to take on the big mountain. I wasn't so ready. His next task was taking on the big mountain. It was at this time daddy and I realized the only thing that stood in the way of him and the big mountain was us. He wanted to try it and we were going to have to let him. He took it on. He won. The lesson learned. Listen to your child. If he thinks he can take something on, let him take it on. Otherwise, it translates "Mommy and Daddy don't think you can handle this. We think you will fail." Not the message I want to send either of my kids.

You Personal Best

So this week we seem to have a theme going. My daughter and son play sports and I've heard them say a few times now that they aren't concerned about winning. I thought this was a good idea to have with regard to sports. We don't want them to be consumed with winning, but I realized what they meant with this statement. "I am not concerned with winning, so I won't give my best effort." Now, I don't want them to be obsessed with being better with everyone else, but I do want them to be the best that they can be. I want them to take Ecclesiastes 9:10 to heart. I want them to do whatever their hands find to do with all of their might. I want to do whatever my hand finds to do with all of my might. So our motto has become: Work hard to give 100% and winning takes care of itself. We can't always win. We tell our kids that. There is always someone better than you. But if you give 100% you can walk away from the game (in this case) knowing you gave your all.

Passing on My Faith to the Kids

Okay so I've been challenged by God lately to pass my faith on to my kids in a very deliberate way. I usually do by accident, but the time has come to get deliberate about it. I had a Bible time with them this morning and it was so neat to be able to share my faith with them. It was, of course, at an eight year old and six year old level. But it was very exciting to be able to share how God works in me with them. They had questions and comments and were interacting in a way I've never experienced before. I'm sure not all our times will be like this, but what a neat way to start. We did Bible time yesterday and they were apprehensive to say the least. But today, when I walked out with my Bible in hand, they were excited to start. I'm not sure if it's because we're reading the Bible or if it's because they get to hear about Mommy and how God has helped her. Either way, I look forward to more of our times together.

If - By Rudyard Kipling

I read this today and really liked it. I thought I would share it.

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!

I Hate Being Sick

So everyone in my house has been sick, including me. This week as pretty full and I've enjoyed the challenge of staying on top of my game, but I took a knee on Friday and I gave in to some sickness. I tried to will myself to go to my martial arts class but finally conceded that if I went to the sparring class I would probably get my butt kicked. I hate being sick. It keeps me from doing all that I want to do. However, I did enjoy the rest. But I'm feeling better and ready to start taking on the world again.

I Wanted To Change the World

Okay, so yesterday was a tough one. I didn't think I was going to make it with my sanity or my faith in tact. I remember as a little girl praying and asking God to use me in whatever way He saw fit. I NEVER dreamed He would do with me what He has. Don't get me wrong, I'm still up for the race, but did you ever get the feeling you signed up for the wrong competition. Like I'm a amateur and I wonder sometimes if I accidentally signed up for the pros. There's no way I'm in the right competition. Ephesians 3:20 says it best. "Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think." My husband and I asked a good friend for guidance on the situation and I knew when she started with "she's not going to like what I'm going to say" that this was another opportunity for me to grow. It's good to have friends who will be honest with you. Firends who will tell you the truth even though they know it's not what you want to hear. It is the faithfulness of such friends that Proverbs speaks of in chapter 27 verse 6. Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy. Someone asked me yesterday how I was and I started crying (something I hate to do in public). My only response was "it's not a pain free job, changing the world". And my only hope is that is what we are doing. Otherwise, what's the point?
For those of you keeping track, my next fear to overcome is the fear of appearing incompetent.