What does it mean to me now to be a Feral Christian? I ask myself this question once in a while. Does it mean that I am a wild woman doing whatever I want? Does it mean that I am crazy and weird? What does it mean? To be feral means to exist in a natural state, as animals or plants; not domesticated or cultivated; wild. As I endeavor to apply that concept to my faith I find it takes on many meanings to me. Here are my thoughts on it today.
I possess certain personality traits, whether handed down to me by my parents genetically or learned as a result of my environment. I often feel I struggle against certain aspects of my personality. Those struggles lead me to believe that maybe I was trained to abandon certain aspects of my personality that I should have clung to. I realize I am making little sense so I will draw on an example from my life as a parent.
My daughter and son are very strong willed. They are headstrong and persistent. My husband and I are training them to use that strength to glorify God. The struggle we have is this: we don't want to drive that persistence out of them, but we need them to be able to submit to godly authority. The easier task would be to teach them to stop being strong-willed, BUT isn't that a part of their personality that God has put in them?
I watch my children play and run and laugh and giggle and envy them their carefree mentality. Can't I as an adult maintain a portion of the childlikeness? Instead I was taught that I must grow up and mature. While I agree that I must mature in my faith, isn't there some room for that childlike heart? Doesn't God tell us that our hearts are to be pure as children's hearts in Matthew 18? I'm not suggesting that I revert to my adolescence and act immaturely, but I possessed an innocence, a naive courage, a wildness that only the young possess. I aim to get back to that part of me. That part of me believed that God could do anything through me. That part of me believed that God was bigger than the air I breath. That part of me was wild with wonder and amazement at the God I served. That is the feral Christianity I speak of. A return to the natural state God intended me to exist in, uncultivated and undomesticated, tended only by His divine hand.
Things That Happen
As I am reflecting on the week, I must admit I feel a sense of accomplishment. I have used different parenting techniques this week and have seen some positive changes. It's required a little more intestinal fortitude then I thought I had, but I surprise even myself sometimes. I've finished off those little tasks that I've been procrastinating on. Why I procrastinate I'll never know...I'll have to find the answer to that one...tomorrow.
We've also gotten a story written about our men's volleyball team. You can check out what has been said about our Eagles here. It was so neat for the guys to have something written about their efforts this year. We are excited to see what the season holds.
Finally, the decisions we are looking to make, are somewhat intimidating but it is so nice to know that no matter what we decide, we are in God's hands. Change used to freak the tortillas out of me, but I'm no longer afraid of what change holds. Changes that we go through have been difficult from time to time, but we've always come through strong with our DAD'S (I refer to God here) help. He's never let us down. He's always seen us through. And He's always taught us something about who we are and what strengths and weaknesses He sees in us. We are truly blessed and as we approach this weekend of much needed rest we know we are in His care, whether we are safe or not is another question.
I Am Qualified To Be A Parent
I’ve begun reading a book by Dr. Laura Schlessinger titled Stupid Things Parents Do To Mess Up Their Kids. If you are looking for an honest look at parenting in American today, you’ll want to check it out. It very bluntly discusses her views on what is wrong with the parenting mentality in today’s society and how it can be corrected. It’s harsh and may offend many who have read it or will read it, but it’s a good read so far, even if it is a little slower than her more current books.
That being said, this book pointed out a flaw in my parenting mentality, which leads me to a realization. Sidebar, I hope I am always having realizations about my parenting. These realizations let me know I am always evolving as a parent. Okay so back to the realization, I know something about being a human being and therefore I am qualified to raise my children. I am not stupid, dumb, ignorant, unreasonable (although that can be argued from time to time), or incapable. I have survived to this point without killing myself. I am relatively happy. I am somewhat productive. I contribute to my community. I am qualified to speak on the topic of being a successful human being.
True story, I found myself asking my 7-year-old today whether or not she needed water for her martial arts class. I was asking her! Of course, she responded no. She was not willing to take the time to get the water she needs for the taxing class she would be attending. I started to lecture her on why she needed water and how important it was. I then proceeded to remind her of the most recent episode of dehydration we experienced, where she emptied her tummy EIGHT times in one day. Then, it hit me, a question that reverberated within me so loudly that it could only be divine. “WHY ARE YOU ARUGING WITH A SEVEN YEAR OLD? YOU KNOW BETTER THAN HER!” I paused for a moment speechless and still. My response could be only one thing. “Elisa go and get yourself some water. Don’t be lazy. You need the water and I know that better than you do. So just do it and then get into the truck.” She didn’t argue. She didn’t whine. She didn’t comment. She simply got her water and got into the truck. AMAZING! I am qualified and I am experienced enough to raise my children. I have something to teach them. I have something to impart into their lives. God thinks so. Why didn’t I?
Mediocre Christianity
So, just to recap, we participated in the tournament and survived. The kids did much better than they thought they would and I did about what I was expecting. It was a great experience and I am so glad we had the opportunity to do it. We all learned a valuable lesson on what it takes to be good at anything you do.
Which leads me to my next topic. I'm going to ask the question and hopefully I'll get some feedback. I really need to hear from anyone who has an opinion on this. Here's the question.
I hear many people talk of being Christan and giving God the glory in all we do. How can we give God the glory if we are performing at mediocre levels? AND...If we pursue excellence in all we do, how do we avoid crossing the line of making our performance more important than serving God?
I'd love to hear any thoughts on these questions. Whether you have a Christian perspective or not.
Which leads me to my next topic. I'm going to ask the question and hopefully I'll get some feedback. I really need to hear from anyone who has an opinion on this. Here's the question.
I hear many people talk of being Christan and giving God the glory in all we do. How can we give God the glory if we are performing at mediocre levels? AND...If we pursue excellence in all we do, how do we avoid crossing the line of making our performance more important than serving God?
I'd love to hear any thoughts on these questions. Whether you have a Christian perspective or not.
Tournament
So, tomorrow my kids and I will compete in our first martial arts tournament. I'm nervous, but I'm not so much nervous for me as I am for my kids. They are working hard to improve their forms and will most likely do well. I am also nervous for myself, but the nerves are manageable. Isn't it funny how we worry more about our kids and their stuff a little more than we worry about ours.
Anyway, I'll let you know how it all goes.
Anyway, I'll let you know how it all goes.
A Test Of Spirit
So this weekend at martial arts class we had to do an exercise. Sah bom nim called it a test of your spirit. I stood in front of a classmate and threw punches at him. He was only allowed to block. He could not move or punch back, only block. Sounds easy right, WRONG? As I was throwing punches two classmates, one to my right, one to my left, were to keep me from success. They could hold my arms, push me back, get in my way, and even punch me if they wanted. On hearing my assignment, my heart cringed. I didn't want to do this. It was going to be too hard. It was going to hurt. Then I heard another voice from somewhere deep inside of me. You can do this. Just stay focused on your target. Don't let anything stop you. This particular voice hasn't been around for too long. It's a new voice. But I really like it.
I started to think about something yesterday. Why do I like this class so much? I always hear people comment on the amount of strength I have. "You're such a strong person." "You're so brave." How is it possible for people to see something in you that you don't even see in yourself? I have never seen myself as strong. I have always seen myself as fearful and cowardly. But taking this class has drawn my attention to some of the strength I possess. I am not as cowardly as I believe myself to be. I am not as fearful as I feel. IT is just further proof that feeling is not reality. What I like about this class is this: It reminds me that I am strong enough, with God, to accomplish anything He assigns me to do. I can do all things, through Christ, who gives me strength.
I started to think about something yesterday. Why do I like this class so much? I always hear people comment on the amount of strength I have. "You're such a strong person." "You're so brave." How is it possible for people to see something in you that you don't even see in yourself? I have never seen myself as strong. I have always seen myself as fearful and cowardly. But taking this class has drawn my attention to some of the strength I possess. I am not as cowardly as I believe myself to be. I am not as fearful as I feel. IT is just further proof that feeling is not reality. What I like about this class is this: It reminds me that I am strong enough, with God, to accomplish anything He assigns me to do. I can do all things, through Christ, who gives me strength.