Rose Canyon

Mount Lemmon. Ahhhh. My Sunday escape. Each week our family takes a Sabbath. My husband started this habit last year in an attempt to give me some quiet time to myself. It was intended to be a mini break for me, but ended up being a day of relaxation for them. I usually found some chore or odd job that needed to be done. It was not usually relaxing for me. This year, my husband invited me to join them. I hesitated at first. I am usually too prepared to just enjoy the kind of trip this is for them. But after prodding from all three of them, I conceded and up the mountain I went. My husband even bought a hammock for me so that I would be forced to relax. It works! Every Sunday I relax and prepare for the week ahead. It's been a nice addition to our lives and highly recommend a Sabbath for anyone. It's God's way of giving us permission to rest. He knew we needed it, that's why he made it a rule. The picture above was taken on the way up to Rose Canyon. The hubby thinks it looks like a volcano. We both think it is a gorgeous display of God's creativity.

Great Stress Ball, Batman!

Okay, so this week was CRAZY! It seems like every single aspect of our lives got hit. It's mostly life stuff but WOW! The opportunity to fail big time arose several times this week. Usually I am a stress ball during this season and I really don't like being that way. I tend to be short tempered with my children and combative with my man. I am proud to announce that only one child lost their head, and that was a completely legitimate beheading. Hubby and I were able to stay close and connected. He is a great source of strength for me and I know God has given him to me as the greatest gift one woman can ever receive. I am still feeling the stress but trying to let the people around me help more. They tend to like it better when I let them help as opposed to watching me run around and stressing. Things don't seem to be slowing down anytime soon, but I know I've got a great support system here. I did feel a little guilty at one point. Ladies, back me up here. You know how you get to that point of tiredness when all you can do is cry? No one has done anything and you aren't angry or sad, you're just tired. That happened and I felt so bad that the poor man witnessing it looked like he felt completely helpless. Sorry about that man. I'm really okay. Nothing a glass of wine and two good nights of sleep couldn't fix. Well, I'm off to prepare for the week. I leave myself with one final thought:
With God, all things are possible. With friends, whatever God asks me to do is possible.

Choice To Trust

I found this a few days ago and had to smile. This was a pivotal moment in my faith walk with God. I thought I would share.

January 14, 2005
I have been faced with the issue of trusting God for quite a while now. I suppose God is trying to say something. I've been going back and forth about the choice to trust God and I believe I have come to a decision. Here it is.

I choose to trust God. I don't completely understand God or His ways. I don't completely know what God has laid out for me. I don't know where He will take me. I don't really know alot. BUT! I know god loves me and I know I love God and without God I am lost. I know until now, God has always kept His promises to me and has always used my mistakes to help me to learn more about His love for me. SO! I choose to trust God based on those things I know and those things I don't know. I trust God. I can't see Him, physically feel Him, taste Him, or smell Him, but I choose to trust Him.

Still Working On It

I posted a while back that God was working something new in me and that I wanted to share it with you all, but I wanted to wait until it was more developed. Well, He's still working it. It's so funny that I thought He was going to explain it to me and I was so wrong. He has so graciously allowed me the opportunity to learn on the job. So, for those of you who are waiting for it, it's coming.

Fake It `til You Make It

For the past three years, God has really been defining faith for me. I grew up in church and heard many ideas on what faith is and what is should be. As God has defined it for me, I have become aware of the responsibility I have with my faith. The verse that really sparked the transformation of my ideas on faith was Hebrews 10:23.

Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm,
for God can be trusted to keep his promise.

There were two things that stood out to me in this verse.
One ~ We hold tightly without wavering
The words used for hold tightly also translates as to get possession of, and also to hold fast, to keep secure, and to keep possession of. The word for wavering can be interpreted as without moving, not inclining, firm, unmoved.
Two ~ We hold tightly to a hope we affirm
Hope can also be as to anticipate with pleasure. Affirm here is our profession, something we say, we declare.

As I looked at the words faith I learned that faith is an allegiance to duty or a person. It is a loyalty, a belief, a trust in God, a complete trust. As you look at the definition of faith you have to look at the definition of belief or to believe. Belief or to believe is to have a firm conviction about something, to accept it as truth.

So here's my theory after reading all of this. Belief must come before faith, however, faith cannot come without belief. I must believe in God to have faith in Him. I must believe what He says about me and what He promises me. My faith is the evidence of that belief. My faith is the proof of what my belief is. The integrity of my belief will be shown in my faith. Faith should be active and in agreement with what I claim to believe. If I believe God loves me, I should behave as though He does. It is behaving based on our belief, not believing to change our behavior. So in essence the idea of faking it until you make it isn't too far off. As I embraced this idea into my life I began to change my thought process. I had to make a choice, and I did. I choose to accept God's promises as truth and I will hold tightly to that until it is fulfilled. I will not move from that idea, I will not change my mind. Why, because I have faith that my God will come through with His promise. I know that even though it looks like I'm standing all alone, that God is standing with me. I believe that even though it looks like He's left me for dead in the desert, He will complete the good work He has started in me. H won't let me down. I have a thought that I go to when I start to have my faith questioned and you can use them if you like.

I am not believing to change my behavior.
I am behaving based on my belief in an all powerful awesome God.

Godly Woman With A Little Fight Left In Her

Okay so it's confession time. Every once in a while I watch those GodTV or Daystar channels just to see what's going on in the religious community. There's one in particular that is geared towards women. I was watching it yesterday and I have to say, I was VERY disappointed. Why does it seem that "Godly" women are always portrayed as meek, mild, quiet, tempered, well-behaved women? It makes it impossible for women like myself to feel as if we are truly Godly. I am not quiet although God has tempered me. I am not mild by any definition of the word. I am passionate, loud, eccentric (which I realize is just another word for crazy), and I am a fighter. I behave myself only according to what God requires. If I am confronted with the enemy of my heart, I do not shrink back into the safety of my husbands arms, I call my man and we take that enemy on together. We double team him. If I see the enemy of my faith trying to destroy what God has done in me, I come out swinging full force.
Why am I talking about this? Let me tell you. My community is under attack by an unseen force. The bad guy would love nothing more than to win this battle. But he won't, not if I have anything to do with it. We, as Christians, sometimes cower and hide in the face of adversity, fearing we have angered some unjust god. We forget that Matthew 11:12 tells us that since the birth of John the Baptist the kingdom of heaven has been forcefully advancing and that violent people are attacking it. So, what should we do. Should we wait for someone to come and rescue us? Should we wait for someone to come in and do the fighting for us? Should we sit idly by and watch as our community is attacked? I will not. I was born for such a time as this! I was born to stand in the gap with the saints and claim the victory God already has won. I will not back down. I will not falter. It will be hard and I will want to quit, but I know what is at stake here. My faith will go on. I will always serve God. I have already decided this. But the faith I pass on to my children is on the line. They will comprehend faith by the way my husband and I live it out in front of them. I want them to see something of substance and value. I want them to see a God that is powerful beyond all belief. If they are to see that, I must live it out in front of them. So, bring it on. I suppose this is my way of putting the enemy of my faith on alert. He's been served notice that he will not win here in my home. I call those of my community to do the same.

It's Worth Fighting For - by Yours Truly

When I am inspired, I write. Here's another one for you. Don't be too harsh.

It's worth fighting for, this concept of community.
It's worth fighting for, this concept of faith.

It's worth fighting for, although the cost is high.

It's worth fighting for, although I will have to wait.
I've seen a life transformed
From shattered and useless to whole
I've seen a heart softened
From cold and distanced to restored
I've known a powerful God
Who leaves no work started undone
I've known an awesome God
Who covers my failures with his blood
It's worth fighting for, my children will need an example
It's worth fighting for, to see more than what eyes see
It's worth fighting for, to cling to a vision that's impossible
It's worth fighting for, fight alongside me

Baby Borrowers

Okay so I've been sucked into this series called the Baby Borrowers. I swore I wouldn't keep watching it, but I've been amazed at the whole idea. I'm not one for reality-shows. My own reality often is enough for me to handle let alone getting caught up in someone else's reality. However, my friend Hopsy and I watched the season premiere of the show and were shocked by the whole experiment. The premise is that a teen age couple gets a shot at being parents. They are cocky teen agers who know everything and think their parents are just clueless as to their abilities and capabilities. Last night they showed how the teens interacted with the toddlers they were given. As I watched, I began to remember how much work John and I put into those years. I had actually forgotten. It was good to see. As I awoke this morning, and was immediately faced with the children, who I cannot give back in three days, and my own reality. They came into the house and presented me with a problem they had found outside. I gave them, what I thought was, a pretty simple solution. Their answer was, "Ehh, I'll just wait until you do it". WHAT?! If I hadn't watched the show last night I might have just gone on, frustrated that I would have to go and solve this problem for them. But I remembered. I remembered the time I have put into these miraculous little humans. I remembered that I have been pooped on, peed on, thrown up on, sneezed on, boogered on, spit at, yelled at, kicked at, swung at, screamed at, bitten, hit, kicked, and I realized...I have done alot. I kept them alive, I kept them fed, I kept them comforted and safe. So, I responded to the beautiful little faces that live in my home, in the only way I felt appropriate, "Get out there and fix the problem yourselves, now!" They went. They now feel accomplished, and I know I'm doing a good job. Not to mention, I get to finish my morning cup of coffee.

Meet Xena

We've added a new member to our family. Xena the Warrior Princess. She's a cute little gal and we are so glad to have her.

She is a little sleepy from all the excitement.

Jefe and Xena getting to know each other.

So sleepy.

Do you think they are happy to have her?

Something On The Light Side

Now for some lighter topics. We went to see WALL-E this weekend. I've linked it to Dove.org for those who have kids and are interested in specific details.. If you haven't seen it yet, you may not want to read this. I'm not going to give away the ending or anything like that, but some people would rather not hear about it before they watch it.
Okay so my teen-ager works at the movie theater and was able to get some passes for us to go and see the movie WALL-E. It's a cute movie, if you are a kid who misses underlying messages. The characters were adorable and I really liked how they developed the relationship between to two main characters. However, I really could have done without the guilt trip at the beginning of the movie. Right off the bat you are hit with how much damage the human race is doing to the world. I'm not going to argue about the veracity of this statement, but I am going to argue that when I'm going to a theater to settle down for a time of relaxation and enjoyment with my family, I really don't want to be put on a guilt trip. I dodge guilt trips all day long from people who want what I can't give or won't because good sense demands I deny them their desires. Anyway, I ignored the whole feeling of guilt so it was wasted as far as I am concerned. The movie would have been cute without it. The only other thing that scared me was the humans. Our future is looked at in a very negative light and I was a little surprised that WALL-E didn't get any criticism for it's interpretation of the obesity issue and Kung-Fu Panda did. I don't get it. Anyway, the kids loved it and can't stop talking about it. I enjoyed it. It was cute and had some comical scenes, but do have to say that the highlight was the short movie before WALL-E. My hubby and I were laughing so hard we were shedding tears.

Rocky Balboa-isms

Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It is a very mean and nasty place and it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't how hard you hit; it's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward. How much you can take, and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done. Now, if you know what you're worth, then go out and get what you're worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hit, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you are because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain't you. You're better than that! ~ Rocky Balboa

This week in class I got my butt kicked. I got hit so many times, I wanted to throw my helmet on the floor and demand that people stop hitting me. I wanted to cry. I wanted to quit. I felt weak and inadequate. Then, as I was about to give in to the urge to quit, I remembered this quote. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. A renewed sense of purpose filled my tired muscles and I finished the class. Such a foreshadowing of my week.

This week has been a rough one for my family and I admit, everything in me wants to stop moving forward. What's the point? What's the point of being strong, holding on to morals and values, what's the point of striving to hold on to convictions that seemingly have no place in this world? I want to throw my helmet down and demand that life quits hitting me, challenging my convictions, demeaning the morals and values I hold dear. But life will not tend to my request. Can I keep moving forward? Can my family keep moving forward? I have spent the week calling out to God, pleading that this cup before us be taken away. It's too painful to watch those I love ache with sorrow and pain, as I am helpless. I can do nothing. Please God, I changed my mind. It costs too much to follow you.....but ultimately not my will but Yours be done. My resignation to this truth, in my life, makes way for a renewed sense of strength to flood my soul, heart, and spirit muscles as I move forward.

Warning: Heavy Post

I have to warn you up front, this post is going to be heavy and vague, but I must vent to you. Have you ever had your ideas about someone shattered in a moment's notice? Have you ever looked at someone and realized you don't know them at all? I'm not talking about hubby so don't worry. Have you ever watched someone take all they have worked for and just throw it away? It's painful. It's heartbreaking. What do you do? What do you say?