A Good Year

The day finished out well despite it's rough start. We relaxed and enjoyed life. I was treated to a dinner with my husband at one of my favorite restaurants and taken out for dessert and a walk through Target. I know this sounds odd, but anytime my hubby and I have alone, together is great, even if we're doing some mild shopping. The conversation was excellent and I loved just getting to catch up with him. As we spoke I realized, I love my birthdays. It is a time I take to reflect over the past year. Before I turned 30 I wasn't too productive, so my birthdays left me feeling a bit empty. I felt as if I had just wasted another year of my life. Since my 30th birthday, I promised myself I would make the most of every year. I would live every year like it was the last year I had on earth. Since taking on this mindset, I have not looked back on my years with regret or shame. I have looked back on the years with pride and joy over what God has accomplished in my life. I did not waste another year. I did not quit this year. I did not sit back and take it easy. I did not hesitate to do the things I wanted to do. I loved with all of my heart, even though it was painful at times. I did not fear to speak my mind, even though it got me in trouble. This was a good year and I'm looking forward to another great year.

IT'S MY BIRTHDAY BE NICE TO ME

Okay so it's my birthday today and I was reminded at 5:30 this morning that I am a mother. I don't know why I expected the world to be perfect on one day, but I did. Now that I have the kids settled and myself calm, I realize, I am alive. I am a mother. I am a wife. I am a daughter. I am a sister. I am a friend. All of the calls with birthday wishes and love remind me that even if the day isn't perfect, life doesn't get any better than a life filled with love.
Happy birthday to me! I am loved and blessed.

Birthdays

Yesterday was my birthday celebration. Tomorrow is my birthday. I was reminded yesterday of how much love fills my life. I have a wonderful family that supports and love me. I have great friends who are willing to laugh, cry, joke, and dance with me. I asked my mom yesterday, if she thought we would make it this far...truth is, I only hoped I would be this happy at 33. The fact that I am this happy is just a great big world's finest almond chocolate bar (my favorite chocolate). Life is good and I am happy.

Do Not Forsake Your Mother's Teaching

Proverbs 1:8-9
8 Listen, my son, to your father's instruction and do not forsake your mother's teaching.
9 They will be a garland to grace your head and a chain to adorn your neck.

Parental advice is valuable in the life of a person. I realize some argue with that and I would have to agree that not all parental advice is valuable, especially if your parent was destructive, addictive, absent, or abusive. If you had that kind of parent then you understand how the lack of intelligent parental advice affects people. But for those with parents who sincerely loved them and did the best they could to be a good parent, parental advice can be valuable. There seems to be an immense lack of common sense not to mention wisdom in our society. We do what we feel is right. We do what we want to do. No one can demand us to act responsibly. No one is calling us to be accountable for our actions. As I read this verse this morning, it struck me that God set up the whole parenting system to give us a mentor for life. He set up parenting so that we would have someone who could tell us about their experiences, who could teach us from what they had learned, who could help us to avoid making the same mistakes they made. He also put them in place so that we would have someone to hold us accountable, to remind us of how we were raised, to challenge us to be responsible and noble. Now that I am a parent, I find I have been turning to my mother more and more for advice. She hesitated at first to give the advice to me, fearing it would hurt my feelings, but now freely gives when I ask. I am learning so much and she often comments that she is glad I choose to learn from her experiences. I don't always like what she has to say, but she is usually pretty accurate with her advice. I admit I tried to do it on my own for the first couple of years, but have since realized that if I am going to pursue Godly parenting, I need help.

Salt & Light

Matthew 5:13-16 (Today's New International Version)
"You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot. "You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.
In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.

We are the salt of the earth. I've heard this my whole life and wondered how can I be salt? What is it I am supposed to do? We are the light of the world, this is another verse I have heard my whole life. How do I light my world? Many have given me their interpretations. Many have offered their ideas of how this is supposed to look, but I still wonder, how will it look in my life? As I have lived my life, I have had many experiences. Some of those experiences have been good and some have been bad, but my desire to pursue a relationship with God has been a constant. There have been times I have wanted to throw in the proverbial towel and hide from the world, but my desire to change the world, make a difference, leave my mark for God has remained. I wonder if this is how I am a light. No matter what happens, no matter what I face, my desire to glorify God always seems to triumph over my desire to become bitter. My desire to serve my Father overrides my desire to quit. Maybe that is how I remain a light. Maybe that is how I add salt to this world. It isn't in the things I do, it is in my refusal to quit. My refusal to let my love for God die is what I offer the world.
I've always liked a song called "Tubthumping" by Chumbawumba. "I get knocked down, but I get up again. You're not ever going to keep me down." Now, I realize they are talking about drinking the night away, but their chant is one that runs through my mind in those moments when I consider accepting defeat as a way of life. And somehow it compels me to get back up and try again. As I bring this post to a close I'm adding a story I once heard that inspires me. I hope it inspires you as well.

"Quit! Give up! You're beaten!"
They shout at me and plead.
"There's just too much against you now. This time you can't succeed!"
And as I start to hang my head In front of failure's face.
My downward fall is broken by The memory of a race.
And hope refills my weakened will As I recall that scene:
For just the thought of that short race Rejuvenates my being.
A children's race-young boys, young men-how I remember well.
Excitement, sure! But also fear; It wasn't hard to tell.
They all lined up so full of hope Each thought to win that race.
Or tie for first, or if not that, At least take second place.
And fathers watched from off the side Each cheering for his son.
And each boy hoped to show his dad That he would be the one.
The whistle blew and off they went! Young hearts and hopes afire.
To win and be the hero there Was each young boy's desire.
And one boy in particular Whose dad was in the crowd,
Was running near the lead and thought: "My dad will be so proud!"
But as they speeded down the field Across a shallow dip,
The little boy who thought to win Lost his step and slipped.
Trying hard to catch himself His hands flew out to brace,
And mid the laughter of the crowd He fell flat on his face.
So down he fell and with him hope --He couldn't win it now--
Embarrassed, sad, he only wished To disappear somehow.
But as he fell his dad stood up And showed his anxious face,
Which to the boy so clearly said: "Get up and win the race."
He quickly rose, no damage done, --Behind a bit, that's all--
And ran with all his mind and might To make up for his fall.
So anxious to restore himself --To catch up and to win--
His mind went faster than his legs: He slipped and fell again!
He wished then he had quit before With only one disgrace.
"I'm hopeless as a runner now; I shouldn't try to race."
But in the laughing crowd he searched And found his father's face:
That steady look which said again: "Get up and win the race!"
So up he jumped to try again --Ten yards behind the last--
"If I'm to gain those yards," he thought "I've got to move real fast."
Exerting everything he had He regained eight or ten,
But trying so hard to catch the lead He slipped and fell again!
Defeat! He lied there silently --A tear dropped from his eye--
"There's no sense running any more; Three strikes: I'm out! Why try?"
The will to rise had disappeared; All hope had fled away;
So far behind, so error prone; A loser all the way.
"I've lost, so what's the use," he thought. "I'll live with my
disgrace."
But then he thought about his dad Who soon he'd have to face.
"Get up," an echo sounded low. "Get up and take your place;
You were not meant for failure here. Get up and win the race."
"With borrowed will get up," it said, "You haven't lost at all.
For winning is no more than this: To rise each time you fall."
So up he rose to run once more, And with a new commit
He resolved that win or lose At least he wouldn't quit.
So far behind the others now, --The most he'd ever been--
Still he gave it all he had And ran as though to win.
Three times he'd fallen, stumbling; Three times he rose again;
Too far behind to hope to win He still ran to the end.
They cheered the winning runner As he crossed the line first place;
Head high, and proud, and happy; No falling, no disgrace.
But when the fallen youngster Crossed the line last place,
The crowd gave him the greater cheer For finishing the race.
And even though he came in last With head bowed low, unproud,
You would have thought he'd won the race, to listen to the crowd.
And to his dad he sadly said, "I didn't do too well."
"To me, you won," his father said. "You rose each time you fell."
Now when things seem dark and hard And difficult to face,
The memory of that little boy Helps me in my race.
For all of life is like that race, With ups and downs and all.
And all you have to do to win, Is rise each time you fall.
"Quit! Give up! You're beaten!" They still shout in my face.
But another voice with me says: "GET UP AND WIN THE RACE!"

He Is My Portion

Lamentations 3:22-25 (New International Version)

22 Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.
23 They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
24 I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him."
25 The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him;

We are not consumed, because of the LORD's great love. His compassions never fail. I guess I never noticed that this verse said His compassions never fail. I always read it, His compassion never fails. There is the indication that there are plural compassions and they are new every morning. His faithfulness is great! I think about my life and my personality and I chuckle to myself as I realize, it must take many compassions to deal with me. It's a good thing that these compassions are new every morning. How can the LORD not be my portion? If I wake up with the knowledge that every morning he is ready to take on the day with me, why isn't He enough some days. Why do I not wait for Him? Why do I rush through my day without Him? Why do I make decisions based out of fear and haste instead of turning to Him for His Will? If I believe what the scripture says I would believe that the LORD is good to those whose hope is in Him, to the one who seeks Him. Maybe that's the answer. Sometimes, life gets hard. Sometimes, life gets scary, and many times we lose focus of the promises we have been given by God. The author of Lamentations says this in the verses leading up to these verses. HE has lost sight of the promises and is starting to panic. It is amid this panic attack that he remembers something. He remembers, God has promised to help me. That one brief thought sparks the run home. God always helps me. All I have to do is call. It doesn't matter if I am so far from where I started, He will hear me when I call and He will answer. He won't lecture me. He won't scold me. He won't remind me of how badly I have messed up. He just answers and loves me. He is my portion. He is enough. He is all I need.

Still I Rise

1When the LORD brought back the captive ones of Zion, we were like those who dream.
2Then our mouth was filled with laughter and our tongue with joyful shouting; then they said among the nations, "The LORD has done great things for them."
3The LORD has done great things for us; we are glad.
Psalms 126:1-3

Every year, as my birthday approaches, I take a look back on my life. It is a miracle to me. My life has been full of hurt and pain that would cause me to consider quitting, but it has also been full of joy and happiness that consistently urges me onward. The joy and happiness I have experienced overshadows the pain and makes the journey so worthwhile. As I survey how I have evolved into the person I am now, I am amazed at the power of God. I can relate to the author of Psalms 126. God has brought me out of captivity and still continues to do so. It is like a dream to me the life I live in the freedom only God can provide. My mouth has been filled with laughter and my tongue with joyful shouting. My God has done great things for me and my family, and I am glad.
It would be easy to dwell on the part of my life that was filled with the pain of captivity. It would be easy to focus on the hurt and the pain. It would be easy to be bitter for the things I did not have and should have gotten. It would be so easy. But I came across a poem recently written by Maya Angelou. And while she is speaking of the slavery of her people, I felt a connection with her. For my people too have been enslaved. They were not held captive by a visible oppressor, but by an invisible one. Our prison has not been one made of steel, but one made of fear and self-loathing. I have fought to be freed and have won my freedom at a great price. So, for me to choose to live in the pain of my past, would be to dishonor all those who have come before me.
My God has been good and has given me the grace and strength to rise and be joyful.
I leave you with a portion of Maya's poem, Still I Rise.

Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.

Like A Rock

Those who trust in the LORD are as Mount Zion, which cannot be moved but abides forever.
Psalm 125:1 (NAS)

I like that this verse specifically addresses those who trust in the Lord. It is a choice. It is a daily decision for me. I choose to trust in the Lord or I choose not to. How I start my day will be a pretty good indicator of how I will finish my day. If I take time to talk to God and acknowledge Him in my life, I find I do this for the rest of the day. If I jump out of bed and get to business without addressing Him, I usually feel tired, overwhelmed, worn out, and angry. These are the days I am short-tempered with those around me. These are the days that will require me to make apologies later on. I don't particularly like those days, but I suppose it serves me right for assuming I could do it on my own.
I realize I have gotten off the point. The point is that trusting in the Lord is a first step. This step comes with a side effect of it's own. Those who trust in the Lord are as Mount Zion. I think that is pretty cool. I'm like Mount Zion when I trust in the Lord. I also like how the author just throws in the next fact, which cannot be moved. I suppose one could take this to mean that we will not be moved from our spot, but I wonder if it means something else. I like to imagine it means that when I trust in the Lord, when I really choose to trust in Him, nothing will be able to make me stop. The only thing that can make me stop is ME. Otherwise, I will continue to stay in my course of trusting God once I choose it. I like that kind of trust. I also like the second part, which abides forever. This trust I am giving isn't fleeting. It will not disappear. If I continue to trust in the Lord, He is committed to eternity. He is committed to being who He is forever. I know I like that. Now, I am pursuing the lifestyle of trusting God in my daily life. As I stated before, there are days I don't do this so well, but the days I do are getting more frequent. And maybe, just maybe someday I too will be, Like a Rock.

Armor Of God

I've shared this with my friends before, but I thought I should look at it again. I was required to memorize it as a child in the private school I attended and it has always stuck with me. I won't comment on it as it really needs no commentary from me.

The Armor of God

In the name of Jesus and by his blood, I put on the Helmet of Salvation. I wash my mind in the blood of Jesus and I keep my mind stayed on perfect peace, as I keep my mind stayed on God. I have the mind of Christ, therefore I take authority over every thought that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, and I bring it into the obedience of His Word. I guard what I think, what I hear, what I see and I set a watch before my mouth to speak only that which ministers God’s grace to the hearer.

I put on the Breastplate of Righteousness and I choose to let Peace be my umpire today, settling with finality all questions that arise in me today. I choose to minister peace to those I come in contact with today, for I have been given the ministry of reconciliation.

I put on the Belt of Truth and I choose to let the Spirit of Truth lead and guide me into all truth today. I will speak the truth in love.

I put on my feet the Sandals of Peace. I allow the peace of God to rule in my heart today. I will choose to be anxious for nothing but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, offer my requests to God. And the peace of God which is higher than my understanding will guard my heart and mind in Christ Jesus. I run to meet others in peace and am ready to make peace with those I am in conflict with.

In my right hand I take the Sword of the Spirit and I cut myself free from every ungodly soul tie, and every ungodly personality trait that hinders me from being what God has called me to be. I choose this day to walk in the knowledge of God’s Word and to resist the devil with the Word of God.

In my left hand I take the Shield of Faith and walk in the God kind of faith to successfully stop every trick and temptation the devil would throw at me today, for I have the power to tread on serpents and scorpions and over all the power of the enemy. And nothing by any means shall harm me as I walk in the authority of God’s Word.

I submit myself to God today and I march behind the barricade of the Cross of Calvary, led by His Spirit and cleansed by his blood. Therefore I actively resist the devil and he has to flee from me.

Prayer is my final weapon and without prayer my line to You, Father is invalid. Therefore, I am here to meet with You, please come and meet with me. I am here to find You, please reveal yourself to me. I will talk with You today about every decision I face for I know that only You can give me divine insight into my day. I draw near to God and He draws near to me. I am an over comer through the blood of Jesus and the Word of my testimony. Thank you, Father for being present with me today. I place my hand in the hand of the Master and choose to walk with You today!

My Favorite Pair of Shorts

Ephesians 4:21-24
21 Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from him,
22 throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception.
23 Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes.
24 Put on your new nature, created to be like God—truly righteous and holy.

I've been thinking on this subject lately and I always hear things like, "I have my rights" and "I am owed..." and realize that according to this verse we don't really have "rights" as Christians. It's true we are sons and daughters of the King and with that comes great privilege. However, if you're reading Ephesians the way that I'm reading it you'll see those rights get laid aside. As I lay aside my old sinful nature and my former way of life, I lay aside my natural responses and reactions. I lay aside what I want to do if it doesn't line up with what God has called me to do. If it doesn't line up with God's Word it must go. I agree with the author of Ephesians, my old nature and former way of life is corrupted by lust and deception. I often times cannot trust my flesh to do the right thing. Which is why it is important for me to let the Spirit renew my thought and attitudes. I must put on my new nature that was created to be like God, truly righteous and holy. This isn't an easy task.
This verse reminds me of my favorite pair of shorts. I loved that pair of shorts. When I first got them I looked good in them. I was hot. I was in the process of losing weight at the time, a great thing, and you can probably guess what happened next. As I lost weight the shorts got bigger. They didn't fit me the way they should. After a while I looked horrible in them, but that didn't stop me. I kept on wearing them. It wasn't until my mother pointed out, so lovingly, that I should stop wearing them, seeing as they made me look heavier than I was. I stopped wearing them to avoid further embarrassment, but the sad thing is that I kept those shorts for a few weeks longer. I seriously contemplated gaining more weight so I could get back into them. I finally got rid of them, but they serve as a reminder to me that getting rid of the old nature and way of life isn't always as easy as it seems. It's a good thing to pursue, but if it holds any of the sentimental value those shorts held for me, you'll need to work a little harder at letting it go.

Perfect Peace

Isaiah 26:3
You will keep in perfect peace
him whose mind is steadfast,
because he trusts in you.

Today this is my focus. There is so much that happens in the life of one person and it can, at times seem too much to take it. Bills, homework, housework, kids, spouses, pets, extended family, they all add up and if one is not careful, one can crack under the pressure. But in Isaiah, I read that God will keep in perfect peace, ME. What a promise! God can keep me in perfect peace amidst the chaos of life. Don't get me wrong, it isn't bad. I love my family. They are a huge part of my life and I love them so desperately. I want nothing more for them than to see God make their story a beautiful one. And as my husband and I endeavor to provide a solid Godly foundation for them, God points out the changes required in us to be the kind of parents they need. It isn't easy. It's hard and painful. At times, I don't want to make the changes, but I am committed to this calling of parenthood. So, I turn to Isaiah 26:3.

Isaiah states the promise that God is offering is conditional. It will require work and effort on my part. God will keep me in perfect peace, but I am required to offer something in exchange. I am asked to keep my mind steadfast as a result of my trust in him. This trust is something I have been examining for quite some time now. It isn't an easy concept and each person must come to this point on their own. But the steadfastness of my mind is a result of the trust I have chosen to place in God. As I choose to trust God, I can keep my mind steadfast and thus fulfill my portion of this promise.

Today I choose to trust God. He has never let me down. He has always come through for me. I admit, it isn't always the way I want Him to come through for me, but He does come through. So I will choose to trust and choose to keep my mind steadfast.

Godly Community

This is just a quick thought. One cannot truly build godly community without trust or faith. First, trust will be the step you take towards people. Without it, you will never move.
Second, faith will be the motivator to keep you moving once you've take your first step. Faith that God is ultimately working in us. Faith that God will be in control of everything, even when we are not.
Just a thought.

Kingdom

Okay, so my hubby and I went out to a movie on our date night. We saw the movie Kingdom, which was actually pretty good. I can't say that with confidence, as I got nauseous half way through. The camera moved around a lot and apparently, I get motion sickness. Ah, the joys of growing old. But that isn't my point.
During the movie, two of the big wigs were having a confrontation. The "good" big wig was being threatened with losing his job by the "cowardly" big wig. I really liked the "good" B.W. answer. I can't remember it word for word, but I'll try and give you the gist of it.

While was in Viet Nam we were asked to write our obituaries. Doing that put into perspective, the fact that we would all die at one time or another. We couldn't stop that. But we could control how we died, on our feet or on our knees. We all will lose our jobs at one time or another. This job will come to an end. I do my job with that in mind.

I'm not sure why this struck me the way that it did, but I'm glad it caught my attention. My jobs here on earth will come to an end. As I do them, I must ask myself how I want to be remembered in these jobs.? Do I want to be remembered for doing them with confidence in who God has created me to be or with fear of failure and rejection?