The Fear of The Lord is the Beginning of Knowledge

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge.  Here's the progression....I am scared of God punishing me (fear of the Lord), I study the Bible to understand how I can avoid that punishment (the beginning of knowledge) and as I study I learn how awesome and great His love for us is.  This has been a cool topic to discuss with the kids. I actually encountered several schools of thought on this idea over the past couple of weeks.  I'll share them with you.
1. God IS powerful but He is more about love.  If we just absorb the love of God everything else will take care of itself.  You won't want to sin anymore.  You'll just be so full of love you'll want to do what God wants all the time.
2. God IS love, but He is powerful.  He doesn't like our sin and it makes Him very angry and we don't want to make God angry do we? So be good and follow the rules or you'll make God mad.
3. If we just pound the Word of God into their hearts and minds we'll win them over.  We need to drive Jesus into them so they won't stray into sin.

The sad thing is, we've subscribed to all of these schools of thought at one time or another.  We've tried to teach our kids to love love love so they would be good.  We've tried to make them fear so they would be good.  We've tried to lecture and drill and pound the Word of God into them so they'll be good.  None of these methods have worked for us.  We are seeing kids who are growing up with these methods and some of them are starting to harden their hearts toward God.  My husband and I don't want that for our children.  Thus, we study God's Word to find His answers to our questions. 

What we're learning is this:For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart (Hebrews 4:12).  God's Word can change the children's hearts.  We must not be afraid to give it to them.  I've been guilty of watering down the Bible so the kids aren't overwhelmed by it, but am I not accusing God of being to much for them?  Am I showing a lack of trust for God's ability to reach them where they are?  Am I not demonstrating to them that God's Word is irrelevant in their lives?  I really have to wonder.  As we put the word of God in front of them (quite literally, it's on a white board in front of them as they eat breakfast), we have to trust that God will reveal Himself to them.  As He shows up in their lives, we are here to pastor and guide them.  It's been cool to watch happen.  We're having some awesome conversations.  Romans 2:4b points out that God's kindness is meant to bring us to repentance.  God's kindness is meant to bring us to repentance! Not our lecturing, threatening, hammering, scolding, or yelling.  God's kindness.  It has nothing to do with me or my husband.  It will have everything to do with God.  I trust He'll be faithful to my children, and we open our home and our lives to allow Him that freedom.

Ummm Yeah...About This Parenting Thing

So, okay.  As we continue to pursue Godly parenting we find ourselves asking...What does that mean?!  How do we start?!   We've been praying and reading the Bible in a desperate attempt to find the right answers.  As I type that sentence I realize I have just admitted our ignorance.  Isn't that where our search should have started and not ended.  I'm going to attempt to chronicle this journey.  I hope it will be helpful to my kids someday.  They'll be the ones to tell us whether God worked through us as parents or worked in spite of us.  I sure hope it's that through us option.

FIRST PARENTING CONCEPT  - KIDS ARE PRONE TO BE A WRECK AND THEY NEED GOD
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline.  Proverbs 1:7
I was listening to a speaker who explained the fear of the Lord very appropriately and his idea on the subject has put a multitude of things into perspective for me.  Angie summary is...God is big and good and holy and perfect.  Adam and Eve were created. Adam and Eve mess up God's world.  Humankind continues to mess up God's world and even goes so far as to kill His son.    We are not perfect.  Put us next to each other and you've got the true God of the universe and us messed up humans.  I don't know about you but I'm a little nervous about how He feels about me if I keep messing up His world.  I'm a wreck.  Honestly I'm prone to be a wreck and if I'm really honest, when I'm ignoring God, I like being a wreck.  I need God to help me stop.
Why would my kids be any different?  It's so easy to push them out and see this fragile little human being who is so dependent on you for everything and believe they are innocent and without sin.  But any parent who has ever told a two year old no and watched that child blatantly ignore said parent knows...they are not innocent and without sin.  SO the first concept I've had to accept is that my children are prone to be a wreck.  My husband seems to accept this truth more quickly than I do.  As a mother, I don't want to believe it.  That's my little baby.  But if I am going to raise Godly children I must accept that they are in need of God's love and forgiveness just as I am.  They are born with the desire to do wrong.  Our response to this concept has been to pray that God would give them an awareness of Him, that God would help us to LOVINGLY show them how prone to sin they are and how much they need Him to be a part of their lives.  If the fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, then we want to cultivate in them the fear of the Lord.  We aren't sure what this will look like, but we're having some interesting conversations.  I'll keep you posted.

Broken Hearts and Tough Decisions

WOW!  Friday's events were more than I bargained for.  It has taken me 16 hours to take in the weight of it all.  I wasn't even able to speak about my reaction to it until 12 hours later.  My heart was broken for people.  I have never had that happen before.  I made the comment to a dear friend of ours that I have spent years as a Christian without having my heart broken for people...I then joked, "Can I really say I've lived the life of a Christian if my heart has not been broken?".  I watched a brave group of people decide to shut down a school.  Their hearts were heavy with the decision.  I then watched the same group of people make the decision to merge with another school.  They made the decision I feel was in the best interest of their community, but I could tell they understood the weight of the decision and, much like Frodo, they wished this task was not theirs to bear.
I'm left with a desperate feeling that there is something I should do to help, but our family is still trying to decide how our family will move forward with regards to this decision.  I wish only to be helpful.  I wish only to make a difference.  I wish most of all to be an example of the awesome God who I love and serve.  How to do that remains to be seen.

Four Schools and a Guarantee

Jeepers creepers! The past month has been a whirlwind of activity.  Our lives are filled with school, tang soo (martial arts), volleyball prep, basketball games, church, and meetings.  Our family has attended more meetings this year than last year this time.  Is it always this difficult to stay involved and informed?
Our school has been faced with the "opportunity" to merge with another school in an attempt to save funding for the district.  We are being asked to choose one of four schools to merge with.  I've been doing my part to stay informed and educated.  It's overwhelming.  Half way through the process I asked my husband this question: Why didn't they just decide for us?  It's so much energy and confusion and stress to think of what is in the best interest of my children's education.  But isn't that my job as a parent?  Yes, it is.  So, we've prayed, gathered information, researched, and researched some more and we've come to one conclusion: There are no guarantees we will make the "right" decision.  I think that is what I've been looking for in all of this research and it eludes me continually.
What it boils down to, is the system needs Jesus.  I am a parent who is involved and dedicated to the best interest of my children, whatever that may be, but not every child at my school has that.  For every parent that has a parent who shows up, we have two that don't.  For every child we have a home life that may or may not involve Jesus.  We've tried to make this decision based on the research we've done, but who's  to say that will not fail us.  There are no guarantees.  The only guarantee is Jesus and so we make our choice and trust He will meet us no matter where we land.

Confidence Builders and Guilt Busters

This week I've put my actions behind my words. I heard a quote at the beginning of the week and decided to put it into action. Angie paraphrase "The best way to develop confidence in kids is to allow them to struggle through a difficult task until they succeed." It was one of those quotes that I heard and thought "That is so true and so many parents don't do it." It was at this moment that a little voice inside challenged me..."Neither do you." OUCH! Everything in me fought against this. Yes I do. I do allow my children to struggle through difficult tasks. But then I got to thinking...then why do they lack confidence? I allow them to struggle with it, but I don't allow them to struggle until they succeed. So I've been challenging the kids to different things and staying out of the way so they can succeed. They have done well. I've noticed a little bit of confidence beginning to emerge and it's really cool to watch happen. However, the proof was in the happenings of last night. Each child had a task they DID NOT want to complete. The children have studied me and know the fastest way to get out of the work they are supposed to do. How do I know, their tactics were precise and effective last night and I nearly gave in.
Elisa continued to stall and allow herself to be distracted from her task. She came out of the office every 5 minutes to pet the dog, ask what was going on, even the shameless tactic of "Mommy, I love you, I just need a hug cause this is so hard." She's good. Everything in me wanted to jump in and help her focus. Thank God my husband was there, because I kept myself in check knowing he would hold me accountable to what I had been purposing to do. Isaac's approach is different. He plays on my emotions and my sympathies for his feelings. He whines, complains, he may even start to cry, and then finally diverts attention from the task at hand with jokes or physical humor. Everything in me wanted to tell him to quit and just go to bed. But again, my husband was working with him, and I knew he would hold me accountable to what I had been purposing to do. So, I distracted myself with Facebook comments and Sudoko puzzles. I kept silent and did nothing. They each succeeded at their tasks and both walked away from their tasks feeling a little taller. It was so amazing to watch them in the giddiness of their success. It did bring a tear to my eye.

I learned something about myself last night, though. I'm not trying to make their lives easier, I'm trying to make my life easier. I do not like to hear the whining, complaining, and crying they do. It makes me feel like a bad parent. I begin to hear lies of "What a mean parent you are. Why don't you just help them, you know they can't do it alone. They are going to grow up hating you and write books about you. They'll end up on Oprah's couch talking about what a heartless mother you were. Yup...You suck as a mother." I know they are lies right now, but in the heat of the moment I am almost paralyzed by them. I am just so thankful that God gave me the strength last night to allow them the opportunity to develop confidence and that he helped me to bust the guilt that I was trying to embrace. Good lessons, hard lessons, but good nonetheless.

Struggles Provide Confidence Growing Opportunities

I remember the day John & I brought each of the children home from the hospital/birth center. Different thoughts and emotions were present with each child. With Isaac, joy, fear, worry, doubt, confusion, and relief that he was finally home, as he was born sick and didn't come home until nearly a month after delivery. With Elisa, I felt excited, nervous, at peace, scared, and impatient to get on to the business of parenting. Each of these experiences fostered responses in me, responses that have molded my parenting technique. One response has gotten me into a bit of trouble. "I will make life easier for my children." WHAT!? I think the pain of life ,often, is so much to bear that we wish it away. We forget how we have grown, matured, been imaginative, loved, learned, and found treasures of friendship and strength that one cannot gain without pain. I've cheated my children out of that experience. I've asked my husband to do the same. He, of course, usually ignores my request, thank God. I heard someone say yesterday that the way you grow confidence in your kids is to allow them to struggle with the things of their life until they succeed at them. So, I put the idea to the test yesterday. I allowed each of my children to do a difficult task. I allowed them to struggle with it until they succeeded. It was difficult for ME! I wanted to move them aside and take over. I wanted to ease the frustration they were experiencing. BUT the thing I found was most prevalent, I wanted to END THE WHINING! Whoa! Maybe my desire to make life easier comes from the desire to make my life easier? I didn't like that realization. They finally succeeded and guess what, they did feel confident. I've known that pain and difficult situations in my life provide an opportunity to grow, I now need to transfer that train of thought over to my parenting.

Mothers Encouragement

I've been going through old video footage of my family. There were unlabeled cassettes and I wanted to know what was on them, so the organizer in me took over and now all the cassettes are identified and labeled. It was crazy to watch my children as infants. They were so small and helpless. They were such a mystery. Who were they? What were they like? What did they enjoy? What would they grow into? And then they grew to toddlers, the first steps, words, EVERYTHING! I watched and savored the moments. I have remembered being impatient, frustrated, and distant, but as I watched those videos I realized, I wasn't those things. There were moments of impatience and frustration. There were moments I distanced myself for the sake of peace and safety. But as I listened to myself talking to the children, I realized there were some good moments in there as well. There were moments of peace and patience, and complete joy. It wasn't ALL bad.
Let's face it, being a stay at home mom is a rough job. It's easy to feel isolated, alone, and completely inept. The most difficult part for me has been the investigation that takes place from the day they are born. If you didn't already know, kids are packages that unfold over the years. We struggle to figure out what they are trying to communicate with us. We struggle to figure out what they want. We struggle to figure out what they like, although it's usually pretty easy to figure out what they don't like. I do this so that I can know how to best meet their needs. But it's tiring, and some days there are no 15 minute breaks, unless they still take naps. Even then there are things to be done, that at the time seem as if they can't wait. Lunch time is more like running an obstacle course while trying to eat. HOWEVER, it's worth the effort to do the investigation. My kids are now 8 and 10 and they are so wonderfully interesting. They are so cool. I enjoy getting to know them and what makes them tick.
So if you...are feeling like they are going crazy; are covered in throw up; haven't taken a shower before noon in months; haven't sat down to eat a meal in who knows how long; wonder if you are going to survive; think no on notices the effort you are making; worry about your kids, please let me encourage you. Hang in there! This too shall pass. You're changing the world with every diaper change, every sippy cup refill, every kiss for every booboo, and every hug and kiss.

Isaac

I can't believe it's been 10 years since this wonderful little, strike that, almost taller than me person entered the world and changed my life. I remember holding him for the first time. He was crying and when I called his name he stopped crying and looked at me. I also remember how he was whisked away and taken to the nursery. I remember how I felt when they told me he was struggling and needed to go the the NICU. I remember seeing him in his incubator and how I couldn't hold him. I remember leaving the hospital without him. I remember visiting him. I remember his surgery. I remember how they told me all of the challenges he would face as a result of his beginning. He may not walk well, he may not talk clearly, he may not learn very well, a long list of things he might not be able to do. I remember praying and crying. I remember John's determination. We'll believe he can do until God tells us he can't.
As I watched him run around today, carrying on crazy conversation with his friend and sister, laughing, giggling, enjoying life I understand, once again, that God gave me a special miracle 10 years ago. Dont' get me wrong, both of my kids are miracles to me, but Isaac's arrival was different. I always let people tell me what was possible, I didn't like it, I fought against it, but I accepted it. God changed that with Isaac. I have had to be his advocate every step of the way. My son, Isaac, my laughter, my joy. God has proved to me that one person can decide what the future will hold. Isaac was determined to talk, he was determined to talk, he is determined to be a train engineer, he is determined to be a source of laughter. He is determined.
God has changed my life with his birth. I have found my faith in God, my confidence as a woman, and my joy in life, as I grow as a mother. His beginning was filled with fear and pain and doubt, but I think it is only an act of God that today, 10 years later, I watch him and I am filled with hope, pride, confidence, faith, and joy.

Divine Romance

It's amazing to me how much Christ suffered on my behalf and how little I have been willing to suffer in His name. He was beaten, rejected by those He loved, accused, betrayed, and hated. I get my feelings hurt if someone picks on me or looks at me the wrong way.
What if, we are doing it wrong. Matthew16:24 says we are to deny ourselves, take up our cross and follow Him. I don't want to submit myself to rejection, betrayal and hurt, I don't want to carry the burden of responsibility, I don't want to walk the road before me. I see that it is the right thing to do, I see that it is most likely God's Will, but I don't want to do it.
I recall the crucifixion and realize, Jesus didn't want to do any of the things He chose to do. He did them for me. He asks me to do these things for Him. I now have the choice. I must decide whether or not I will be a party to the Divine Romance.

Heavy Sigh

Oh the life of a stay at home mom. I don't know a whole lot of people with kids my age so I've often found myself feeling a little like a pioneer as far as the parenting thing. It's not a bad thing, but when you are trying to raise kids to no conform to the society around them it's not easy. Today is just one of those days. You know, when you wake up and feel like you can take on the world only to find out that you no longer live on Earth...you now live on Mars. I suppose it's time to learn all I can about Martians.

A Glimpse of Eternity

It's a funny thing to me, this serving God thing. I've always found that when I get weary in life and find myself on the brink of quitting, I remind God that I'm here and that I could really use a reason to not jump. He has always been faithful. He shows me a glimpse of eternity in those I serve whether it be a kind word, a realization they have come to, or just the sight of God growing in their hearts. It's enough to keep me going. It's enough to give me the courage to hold my sword and shield up a little longer. I also find it funny that the next morning that same person will nearly miss a ride to school and forget to take out the trash because the snooze bar was attacked too many times. No worries, I know God is growing there and isn't that really what it's all about, planting a seed and knowing it is taking root?

To Those Mothers

To those mothers who have screaming children today
To those mothers who cried of sheer exhaustion
To those mothers who didn't get a shower today
To those mothers who can't remember her social security number let alone her birthdate
To those mothers who nursed a fussy baby today
To those mothers who ate her childrens lunch leftovers
To those mothers who watched yet another episode of the Wiggles today
To those mothers who know every word of every Dora song
To those mothers who carried a child within her womb today
To those mothers who carried a child in her arms
To those mothers who worried about her child today
To those mothers who worry everyday
To those mothers who celebrated a child's milestone today
To those mothers who celebrated a naptime
To those mothers who I stand shoulder to shoulder with....we are changing the world.

I found this picture today, and I remember thinking "When will the insanity be over?"
It isn't over yet, but time is passing too fast now. I used to call my mother during those stressed moments and she would always answer "This too shall pass." She was right. But secretly, sometimes I wish for those days.

What is the World Should We Do?

As my hubby and I change our perspective from protecting our kids from the world to educating them about what our role as followers of Christ are in this world we find ourselves doing things slightly different. The other day we went to a gym to watch our 9 year old play basketball. Afterward we made a pit stop at the locker rooms to use the porcelain seats (it was my husbands suggestion). Now if anyone knows kids you know that girls, in particular, will use any excuse to check out a new restroom. My daughter is no different. HOWEVER, anyone who has been in a locker room knows not everyone adheres to the same dress code or code of modesty that I do. So my little lady was exposed to some very mature anatomy that I had hoped to postpone. I laugh now as I envision my self trying to keep from covering her eyes, scream with disapproval, and hurry us both out of there as fast as possible. It must have been a sight. However in true form, we tried to walk out with some normalcy and decorum, that is until the sweet girl dropped her toys on the ground. The decorum was lost, I screamed at her to hurry up and pick up her toys, and pushed her out of the bathroom. As we emerged I shot my wonderful hubby a look of sheer anger. Of course he was confused as I scooted us all up the stairs and out of the door. I blamed him for the ordeal (it was his suggestion after all) and tried to get to our vehicle as fast as possible. I was halfway there when I heard a small voice from within say, "Time to educate her about her world and her role."
"GOD! You don't play fair!"
I slowed down and let my little girl catch up with me. Her head was down and she was very quiet.
"Are you okay?" my tone had changed to the more loving and caring voice I prefer to hear from myself.
"Yeah." she muttered quietly.
"Are you embarrassed by what you saw?" I asked her with a giggle.
"Yeah." she giggled back to me. "Why wasn't she wearing any clothes? Didn't she know we all could see her?"
As we continued to the car I explained to her that everyone has a different level of modesty, and some don't feel there is anything wrong with people seeing their bodies. I let her know I was a little embarrassed as well, but that no one had done anything wrong, it was just our reaction to a new experience. She asked a couple more questions and finished with "Can we go eat now?" and I knew we were done.
I so wanted to protect her from that...or at least delay it a little longer. But I realize, she had that experience with me and we were able to talk about it, laugh about it, and grow as mother and daughter. I can tell this is going to be a fun adventure, but it will require me to look at my world with different eyes.

**I don't look down on anyone who shares this woman's modesty level or judge in any way. But when you and your kids see a naked body together for the first time you'll understand what I must have gone through that morning.**

Protecting

Did you know that there is only one reference to protection in the Bible. Strong's concordance finds only one scripture on protection. But there are lots of verses on teaching, instructing, and passing faith down to them. Just an interesting fact I'm finding. I've always believed that it's my job to protect them from the world. The older they grow it becomes nearly impossible to do this. But as I seek God's face regarding my mothering, I find that maybe my job is not to protect, but to instruct, teach, and pass faith. This job is still difficult, but I can do it, with God's help, I can do it.

Is It Scriptural To Protect Your Children?

Okay so I've been having discussions with those closest to me about a highly important aspect of my life. Is it biblical or scriptural to protect your children from the world. I'm going to be searching the Word to find my answer but if anyone has any opinions on this topic I would greatly appreciate it.
I'm finding lots of information on how to train the children, how to pass my faith down to them, but where is the Scripture about protecting them?
Just more thoughts from the curious mind of Angie.

Mistake #2 - Sweating the Small Stuff

I tend to hold on way too long to stuff that doesn't really matter. What kind of stuff do you ask? Insignificant things really, things like how the laundry is folded; if the laundry gets folded; how clean the house is; whether or not insignificant things are done exactly the way I want them done. These are the things I get worked up about. The biggest one is what people think of me. What do they think of me? Do they think I am a good mother, do they think I am a good wife? What can I do to improve the quality of woman I am portraying? The funny thing I realized this year as I people watched from the comfort of my friendless shell is that people are worried about so much that they hardly notice me. Can you imagine, the gall of some people not to notice me? I know! I am flabbergasted. So my effort was in vain. What a waste!

I had to shift my focus and efforts onto something more productive. Maybe I could focus on actually being a good wife and mother rather than just trying to make myself look like a good wife and mother. And then, I heard it...the sentence that both wounded and healed my heart. This sentence would be my focus and my motivation for the remainder of my life. There can be no true love if there are only thoughts of self. Hold on, let me take the knife out of my HEART! The worrying I do about the house being clean, and the laundry being done, and how I look to outsiders is so insignificant in comparison to those inside my house who suffer from my worrying. If this sentence is true, then I had to admit that the love I claimed to feel for my husband and children was empty as long as I was worried about how I was perceived. Sweating the small stuff keeps me from truly loving those closest to me. Sweating the small stuff costs way too much. Life is so short and before I know it the kids will be grown and doing their own thing. I will have all the time in the world to clean house and fold laundry. The funny thing is when that time comes I'll be wishing for these days...these days I take for granted. So I'm learning to sit back, relax, let the house be imperfect, let the laundry take longer than a day to do, let others think what they want, and I am finding myself happier. I am also finding that I am truly loving and loved truly.
I once heard someone say Being loved and loving is more important than being perfect and I couldn't agree more.

Parenting Quote of the Day

So I heard a parenting quote today and I'm convinced it needs to be my parenting motto for the next 15 years.

Most of the time, being a good parent feels crappy.
~Dr. Laura Schlessinger

Isn't that the truth? I find that a good amount of the time I have deny my kids things. I do it becuase it is in their best interest. I don't like to deny them anything, but I realize that if I give them everything, I may be doing them a dis-service. When they were babies, I was responsible to meet all of their needs, but as they grow, I find my responsibility shifts from meeting all fo their needs to teaching them to meet their own needs. This requires mistakes, failures, and errors. It's hard to watch them go through those things sometimes, but I find great pride in watching them succeed.
I will endure the crappy feelings of discomfort and pain to allow them the opportunity to mature and grow and learn from life's experiences.

Train Up a Child

We had one of "those" parenting nights last night. A battle of the wills where only one side could be the victor. Those of you who are parents of preteen boys understand what kind of battle we were up against, those of you who aren't, will one day know. It wasn't the "I hate you and wish I wasn't your child" kind of defiance. It was the "I'm becoming a man and I want to know who's in charge here" defiance. When you are in the middle of it you are thinking, "Are you serious? This has got to be a joke. Someone abducted my sweet boy and left this anger ball in his place." It's hard and I wanted to quit. I wanted to just let him be in charge in hopes of wooing my sweet child back into reality. That wouldn't work and I knew that, but I tend to look for the exit when difficult times face me. Instead, I prayed. We prayed. He didn't snap back into reality like I wanted him to, but we were able to stand our ground in a loving way. Someone once told me that when you start to hear accusations against your heart and soul that you might be on the right track and to stay the course. Well, let me tell you, we must have been on the right track last night because the accusations were flying, but we stayed the course and our son did what we asked.
Proverbs 22:6 Direct your children onto the right path,
and when they are older, they will not leave it. (NLT)

MRI, iPods, and missed classes

Okay so today had a frustrating start. My son had an appointment to have an MRI done. We all woke up early (no small feat with my princess who sleeps until 8 or 9) and headed across town to keep our appointment. I suggested my son might be able to take the iPod in with him, but wasn't positive. Well, turns out he couldn't take it in. Which set off a chain of events that would spiral quickly out of control and end with us leaving the office un-MRI'ed and frustrated. Yes, I realize that isn't a word, but I'm using it anyway. He wouldn't even step foot into the room and it was painfully obvious there was no way to make him do it and not look like the mother who is traumatizing her son in front of the tech's. Anyway, we left the office after 20 minutes of negotiating and comprimising without the MRI and feeling defeated. I had missed my martial arts class, woke everyone up early, missed a good breakfast, only to fight with my son across town. I yelled at God and complained that He could have helped a little more. After all, we did pray and ask that God would help Isaac to be brave and courageous. God could have answered that prayer. He responded ever so gently and patiently with the following...Bravery or Courage were not what your son lacked. He was being stubborn. I was a bit confused but after a conversation with my beloved son, I discovered God was once again right. He was mad that he couldn't take the iPod into the room with him. I suppose I forgot to pray for that one. We've since made up and are now enjoying a better day, but MAN! Proof of two things, God answers prayer, but make sure you ask for insight into what to pray for. And two, God is always right.

Cinderella

We were on our way to a piano lesson the other day and this precious little song began to play on the radio. My daughter squealed with glee and asked, "Mommy! Please turn it up? I love this song!" I figured it was some silly little song and so I complied. It was the least I could do. As I listened to the lyrics, tears welled in my eyes. It is the song of a father who is watching his little girl grow into womanhood.

So I will dance with Cinderella
While she is here in my arms
'Cause I know something the prince never knew
Oh I will dance with Cinderella
I don't want to miss even one song
'Cause all too soon the clock will strike midnight
And she'll be gone.

Even now as I listen to it again, I am sappily tearing. There are two reasons for this flood of emotion and here they are. One, I spent so much time in my life being sad about the fact that I never knew this kind of love. The pure love of an earthly father. The kind of love that protects and cherishes from outside predators. I have known it in my relationship with my Heavenly father and for that I am so blessed. So the first reason is the final mourning of the father I never had. The second reason was the realization that my children do know this love. My daughter has the love of her daddy. My favorite memory is the trip home from the hospital with a newborn Elisa in the back seat. The song Butterfly Kisses began to play on the car radio and John looked at me with a tear in his eye. Concerned, I asked him what was wrong. He looked back at the car seat and whispered, "I'm going to have to give her away." She has a daddy that loves her. Knowing that, I can no longer be sad. I have given her what was taken from me.