Struggles Provide Confidence Growing Opportunities

I remember the day John & I brought each of the children home from the hospital/birth center. Different thoughts and emotions were present with each child. With Isaac, joy, fear, worry, doubt, confusion, and relief that he was finally home, as he was born sick and didn't come home until nearly a month after delivery. With Elisa, I felt excited, nervous, at peace, scared, and impatient to get on to the business of parenting. Each of these experiences fostered responses in me, responses that have molded my parenting technique. One response has gotten me into a bit of trouble. "I will make life easier for my children." WHAT!? I think the pain of life ,often, is so much to bear that we wish it away. We forget how we have grown, matured, been imaginative, loved, learned, and found treasures of friendship and strength that one cannot gain without pain. I've cheated my children out of that experience. I've asked my husband to do the same. He, of course, usually ignores my request, thank God. I heard someone say yesterday that the way you grow confidence in your kids is to allow them to struggle with the things of their life until they succeed at them. So, I put the idea to the test yesterday. I allowed each of my children to do a difficult task. I allowed them to struggle with it until they succeeded. It was difficult for ME! I wanted to move them aside and take over. I wanted to ease the frustration they were experiencing. BUT the thing I found was most prevalent, I wanted to END THE WHINING! Whoa! Maybe my desire to make life easier comes from the desire to make my life easier? I didn't like that realization. They finally succeeded and guess what, they did feel confident. I've known that pain and difficult situations in my life provide an opportunity to grow, I now need to transfer that train of thought over to my parenting.