Isaac

I can't believe it's been 10 years since this wonderful little, strike that, almost taller than me person entered the world and changed my life. I remember holding him for the first time. He was crying and when I called his name he stopped crying and looked at me. I also remember how he was whisked away and taken to the nursery. I remember how I felt when they told me he was struggling and needed to go the the NICU. I remember seeing him in his incubator and how I couldn't hold him. I remember leaving the hospital without him. I remember visiting him. I remember his surgery. I remember how they told me all of the challenges he would face as a result of his beginning. He may not walk well, he may not talk clearly, he may not learn very well, a long list of things he might not be able to do. I remember praying and crying. I remember John's determination. We'll believe he can do until God tells us he can't.
As I watched him run around today, carrying on crazy conversation with his friend and sister, laughing, giggling, enjoying life I understand, once again, that God gave me a special miracle 10 years ago. Dont' get me wrong, both of my kids are miracles to me, but Isaac's arrival was different. I always let people tell me what was possible, I didn't like it, I fought against it, but I accepted it. God changed that with Isaac. I have had to be his advocate every step of the way. My son, Isaac, my laughter, my joy. God has proved to me that one person can decide what the future will hold. Isaac was determined to talk, he was determined to talk, he is determined to be a train engineer, he is determined to be a source of laughter. He is determined.
God has changed my life with his birth. I have found my faith in God, my confidence as a woman, and my joy in life, as I grow as a mother. His beginning was filled with fear and pain and doubt, but I think it is only an act of God that today, 10 years later, I watch him and I am filled with hope, pride, confidence, faith, and joy.