Now That I'm a Green Belt

So, if you haven't already heard I am now a Tang Soo Do Green Belt. I don't know why, but I felt a sense of respect for myself. I do have to admit, I was very nervous for this test. I have been nervous before, but this was way different. When I stood before my Master to perform my form, I felt a sudden terror come over me. I know this terror. It is the feeling I get right before I do something I have been studying to do and realize I am about to do it. I usually chicken out, or get so nervous that I fumble my way through whatever it is. Saturday, I went into a mode I have been practicing but have not used until that day.
Sidebar - When we being class, we stand at attention, we salute the flag, we bow our heads, we then salute the master and begin our techniques. Now, when we bow our heads, I have begun repeating one thing in my head every practice. I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me (Philippians 4:13).
Back to the story, I had done this on Saturday morning before we began testing. As I stood to perform, and felt the fear begin to creep in, I heard a voice whisper to me...Do not forget, you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you. That's right! I remembered! I looked my master in the eyes and focused my fear into a little ball and put it to the side and began to perform. I did not know how I did. I don't even remember performing, but I was not afraid. When I was done, I returned to my spot on the wall, but I was shaking so much I couldn't sit still. I had done it. I had been afraid and I had done it with confidence and strength. I am told by those who were there that my form was strong and clean. The moves were crisp and sharp. That makes me feel good, but not as good as knowing that I was terrified out of my mind and did it well.

Now, the board break with a side kick took me four tries. I was afraid to kick the masters fingers. I did kick her fingers. So, I figured after that it couldn't get much worse. I knew I was kicking wrong and I was pushing and not snapping, but the incredible thing about that was this: The thought of quitting never entered my mind. The white belt Angie would have quit after the first one. The green belt Angie kept kicking until the board was broken. Quitting was never an option. I was determined to break it and that felt good too.
When I was a white belt, I didn't know I would develop strength and courage as I pursued each belt level. Now that I'm a green belt I look forward to the new challenges that await me.