My Relationship With God

I received an e-mail from an elementary school classmate last night. It was so cool to hear from a person you last knew as a child. It got me to thinking about the school I attended for 9 years and the different philosophies I learned. The god I knew then is not the God I know now. It is amazing how one can grow up in religion and completely miss the relational aspect of God. I knew what I was supposed to do to be perceived as a "good Christian". I knew all of the terms. I knew the phrases that would gain me approval and acceptance. And yet, I did not live the life that gained the approval of the one I served.
Even now, it is easy to get caught up impressing each other with our accomplishments and self righteousness. Unfortunately, I forget to impress God. I filter my thoughts and I now realize my beliefs for fear they will be too offensive. I don't know why I am rambling on about this other than to say that I am done. As I am journeying on my Feral Christianity, I am learning so much about who I want to be compared to who I am. In order to be that person, I am going to have to take risks. I am going to have to put myself out there and allow myself to be perceived, scrutinized, and yes even judged. However, in the end the only judgment I will live by is the one that has captured my heart and has loved me so deeply and so truly.