The Weight of Parenting

The blog has been silent. It's on purpose. There's so much going on and I am a transparent writer. I'm not good at being vague. I try, but it's fake and I have worked hard not to be fake. Life is harder than I thought it was going to be. I thought the hardest things in my life all took place in my childhood. I couldn't have been more wrong. Childhood was hard, but I think the parenting thing has been harder still. To love little hearts that don't completely understand is difficult. To teach little souls the importance of character and integrity feels near impossible at times. I know what my hubby and I are doing is important. We know we are valuable in these hearts. I just wish sometimes, I wasn't. Then the mistakes I make, the things I screw up wouldn't haunt me so. I'm not sitting under a dark cloud feeling sorry for my self. I realize it may come across that way. I just feel the weight of the importance of our responsibility. It's hard. It's a sacrifice. It's a donation of myself and I realize that my husband and I are the only ones who truly understand how much we give. It's a lonely feeling sometimes. Our prayer is that God will bless what we do. That He will bless our efforts and cover our mistakes with His pure, complete, and life-changing love.