Superwoman? Not lately

So my shock has worn off, and I am now left with the realization that with one small diagnosis, life has changed. Please don't misunderstand, this by no means changes our love for our son. Nor does it change the hopes and dreams we have for him. We will not let this be something that keeps us from encouraging him to be all that God created him to be. No, this isn't the change I speak of. It's the change that happens in those around us. It's the change that happens within our family. It's the realization that things we left unnoticed, must now be noticed and documented for his sake. It's the change of well-meaning people giving us their hopes of his complete and total healing. It's the change of dealing with those around us who aren't sure how to treat our son. It's the change of feeling vulnerable. It's the feeling that one small inquiry of how I'm doing sets tears into motion. It's the small changes that no one notices. These small changes just prove to be too much from time to time. I cannot allow myself to think about it during the day, it overwhelms me and threatens to stop me dead in my tracks. I steal away these few moments in the early phases of my morning. I allow myself to come to terms with my humanity. I allow the tears to surface. I give into the vulnerability. It is the only way I will call out for help from the only One that can help. I know I serve a big God. I know there is nothing too big for Him. I know that with a thought of my son He can heal him from what ails him. However, there is a sense that this may not be what He's planning. I know He will get the glory. I worry that He's chosen to use us this way. I am human and fail Him so often. But He is God and I do believe He knows what He's doing.