That pretty much sums up the last 72 hours. I tested for my yellow belt this weekend...yes I passed. I couldn't believe I actually broke a board with my hand. I felt like kicking someone in the teeth. Okay, that might be a little extreme. However, next to giving birth to my children, that was the most empowering experience of my life. I joined martial arts so I could overcome some of my fears, but I never imagined I would feel confidence in fear's place. It's a good feeling. The buzz was dulled by my 6-year-old's ear infection. So, as we sat in urgent care I felt the strength drain from my body as I listened to the barrage of coughs, sniffles, and children's moans. GERMS!!! Not to mention John was fighting a ferocious headache. So a quick trip to the nearest Walgreens saw me return with Tylenol, hand sanitizer, bottled water, and Airborne. We're all okay now, but as I watched the Super Bowl yesterday (which was one of the best games I've seen in a Super Bowl) I realized I was not prepared for two-a-day practice week for our volleyball team. How did I become this person? I used to be so scared of everything. I felt so inspired I began to write.
Afraid to live
Afraid to die
Afraid of truth
Paralyzed by lies
Paralyzed by fear
Paralyzed by doubt
Paralyzed by failure
Is there no way out?
Enraged by my weakness
Empowered by my resolve
Encouraged by my faith
Enveloped in His love
I know it's a girl poem, but it's a pretty accurate depiction of what can happen in the life of one who lives in fear. I haven't overcome it all, but DAMN it feels good to have overcome one more hurdle. Now to conquer the fear of heights.
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