Who's In Charge Here?

So I've been feeling icky lately and couldn't figure out what was going on. I did all kinds of tests. CT scans, blood work, urinalysis and everything seemed fine. I've even had an ultrasound. The whole time I kept hearing a question in the back of my mind..."Will you let me heal you even if you don't know what I'm healing you of?" I'm a control freak! I'm ashamed to admit, this question was easy for me to answer...NO! I need to know what is wrong. God can't heal me without telling me what He's healing me of, that's just not the way we do it. Well, after 6 hours in the ER with great painkillers on board, very little sleep, and an "We can't see anything wrong with you Angelica" I was done. My need to feel better won over my need to know what was wrong. This was taking time from my children, my husband, myself and not to mention I was not going to be the reason we missed our trip to California. Yes, I finally resigned, yes God can heal me without telling me what's going on. Yes, God can make me feel better even when I don't have the control. Yes, God You can be in charge!
I had the wonderful opportunity to sing two of my new favorite songs back to back on Saturday and they never meant more to me than that night. Let My Words Be Few and In Christ Alone. The first song sings of the realization that I am so in awe of who God is and words cannot be what expresses my emotion, as they do not do Him justice. The second sings of my dependency on God. There is a line in the first verse that meant so much to me that night...What heights of love, what depths of peace...When fears are stilled, when strivings cease....My Comforter, my All in All....Here in the love of Christ I stand. When the fears of who I am without God are quited, when strivings for control and power cease, all I find myself in the greatest love and peace: In Christ alone. That is more than I deserve and all I need.
By the way, God is so gracious. I felt better almost immediately and figured if God had the power to do that I didn't need to know the answer. He gave me the answer anyway. I had a ruptured ovarian cyst. He gives me so much more than I deserve.