As I continued in Hosea I start to recognize a trend. The nation of Israel begins to indulge in foreign gods and even the priests turn to drunkenness and sexual sin. It's an "every man for himself" idea that seems to prevail among them. And all I can think is...Why do we do it? We exchange God for a buzz and, excuse my frankness, orgasm. I see it in our society all the time. I've been guilty of it myself. Right now I'm listening to Kirk Franklin, a brother who has had his struggles, but does his best to keep getting up, and it reminds me what it was to be on God's team. Those days when I believed I could take on the enemy and be victorious with my God on my side, or me on His. I took myself out of the game. I saw the need of our world and believed the lie that I couldn't make a difference. The need was too great and I was too small. I've not committed any grand sin, I tell myself, but haven't I? Isn't apathy a dangerous sin to the kingdom of Heaven? I have watched acquaintances struggle beside me and fight all sorts of battles, all the while I have felt nothing and have done nothing. Knowing that Jesus can help and change, I've remained silent. How dare I? I have watched as brothers and sisters in the faith have sustained relentless attacks on their hearts and I have remained silent. How dare I?! I'm not beating myself up, I'm calling myself out on my GRAND SIN! I want Peter 1:22 to become my lifestyle...Love each other with a warm love that comes from the heart...a heart that is hopefully being regenerated by God Himself.
So, my friends, Jesus! Jesus can change your life. Jesus can change your heart. Jesus can take your torn and broken heart and make it whole again. He's done it for me in ways that you can't even imagine. I've not shared my stories for fear, but He has changed my life in amazing ways. If you need Jesus, He's there. I'm here as well to tell you about what He's done in my life. Jesus!
And yet another poem written July 19, 2004
A growing distance grows in the quietness of our ranks
We say little of our needs and holes
We speak only of our accomplishments and failures
Our dreams of changing the world melt into dreams of survival
The gulf between you and I expands as our competition and gossip blind us
I no longer see you as an asset but as one more person I must best
As children we shared secrets and giggled about life
Now we shut each other out and withhold information in order to succeed
I stopped today and look at you and I cried
You looked so lonely and confused, maybe even a little scared
I knew those feelings myself
I wanted to reach out to you and tell you I was here
for some reason I didn't
I wanted to take your hand and tell you you weren't alone
My pride kept me silent
What has happened to us
We say nothing of dreams, hopes, or aspirations
We speak only of chores
We talk and talk and say nothing of who we are or who we hope to be
Hosea?
I've been asking God about what I should be reading in His Word and Hosea kept repeating in my mind. I don't know if He was telling me to read the book about the prophet who was married to a prostitute, but I read it anyway just to cover my bases. I told my pastor I was going to be doing this and his repsonse was "Why Hosea?" I didn't know why then, but I do know why now.
As I said, Hosea is the book written by a prophet who married a prostitute. It creates a unique image of Israel's relationship with God at the time, but I also think it creates a great picture of any Christian's relationship with God, at least for me this is true.
How often do I allow something else to play the role of redeemer in my life. One definition of redeem is to convert into something of value. I have been guilty of allowing things in my life to give me value. I know I have played the part of a harlot in my relationship with God. I know I've allowed earthly things to sustain me when I should have been turning to God for sustenance. I've explained it away. I've made excuses, but the fact remains...IT IS SIN and I AM GUILTY OF IT. It's not important why I do it, although I'm sure it would make good conversation, but what is important is what steps I now take to make this right. And then it all makes sense. I cannot make it right. There is nothing I can do to make it right. There is only one person, one thing that can make it right. Jesus and His blood can make it right. Nothing in me can fix this. I'm continuing this conversation with my Redeemer, but my initial response is the poem below.
As I said, Hosea is the book written by a prophet who married a prostitute. It creates a unique image of Israel's relationship with God at the time, but I also think it creates a great picture of any Christian's relationship with God, at least for me this is true.
How often do I allow something else to play the role of redeemer in my life. One definition of redeem is to convert into something of value. I have been guilty of allowing things in my life to give me value. I know I have played the part of a harlot in my relationship with God. I know I've allowed earthly things to sustain me when I should have been turning to God for sustenance. I've explained it away. I've made excuses, but the fact remains...IT IS SIN and I AM GUILTY OF IT. It's not important why I do it, although I'm sure it would make good conversation, but what is important is what steps I now take to make this right. And then it all makes sense. I cannot make it right. There is nothing I can do to make it right. There is only one person, one thing that can make it right. Jesus and His blood can make it right. Nothing in me can fix this. I'm continuing this conversation with my Redeemer, but my initial response is the poem below.
I Hear You're In the Business
I approach a Holy God so aware of who I am
I know I don't deserve what You will freely give
But I hear You're in the business
Of making old hearts new
And the one I have here
Could use some help from You
I've cheated and I've lied and I've stolen and I've deceived
There is nothing I have done of which I'm proud
But I hear You're in the business
Of making old hearts new
And the prideful heart I have here
Could use some help from You
I know I'll fail You again I won't want to but I will
I will fall and fall, but if you help I'll keep getting up
Because I hear You're in the business
Of making old hearts new
And my broken heart here
Will take the help from You
Jesus take this old broken heart and please make it new
I approach a Holy God so aware of who I am
I know I don't deserve what You will freely give
But I hear You're in the business
Of making old hearts new
And the one I have here
Could use some help from You
I've cheated and I've lied and I've stolen and I've deceived
There is nothing I have done of which I'm proud
But I hear You're in the business
Of making old hearts new
And the prideful heart I have here
Could use some help from You
I know I'll fail You again I won't want to but I will
I will fall and fall, but if you help I'll keep getting up
Because I hear You're in the business
Of making old hearts new
And my broken heart here
Will take the help from You
Jesus take this old broken heart and please make it new
The god of satellite is still dead
It's been 10 days....count 'em 10 days without satellite TV. I have to admit, I was doing okay until day 8 and then, I lost it. I am ashamed to admit it, but I did lose it. I'm amazed how much I depend on TV to help me relax and zone when I'm stressed. Friday I was particularly stressed and all I wanted to do was sit down with the remote control and channel surf. I realize we have plenty of good movies and I enjoy them all, but there are particular shows I enjoyed such as Snapped, Little House on the Prairie, New Detectives, not to mention Psych, Monk, and House. I stood in the middle of my living room and proclaimed in frustration "All I wanna do is watch TV and I'm so mad that I can't and THAT makes me so ashamed of myself! I'm such a baby!" I laugh now, but I was completely serious at the time.
Today, I finished two sets of curtains that I've had been procrastinating on for WAY TOO LONG. I've cleaned out things in my house that I've neglected for months. I've started being more diligent about my promise to learn to read music. I'm doing alot I've been putting off. Isn't it funny, how you learn to adapt when the need arises.
I think it's sad that my biggest accomplishment today, in my mind, was that I didn't complain about the lack of satellite. I didn't miss it, I didn't feel sad about it, I actually didn't even feel the urge to watch. Yeah, I'm pathetic. But at least I've gone through the first step. I was a TV junkie.
SIDEBAR: The kids have had less trouble with our current situation than their dear old mom. What's that all about?
Today, I finished two sets of curtains that I've had been procrastinating on for WAY TOO LONG. I've cleaned out things in my house that I've neglected for months. I've started being more diligent about my promise to learn to read music. I'm doing alot I've been putting off. Isn't it funny, how you learn to adapt when the need arises.
I think it's sad that my biggest accomplishment today, in my mind, was that I didn't complain about the lack of satellite. I didn't miss it, I didn't feel sad about it, I actually didn't even feel the urge to watch. Yeah, I'm pathetic. But at least I've gone through the first step. I was a TV junkie.
SIDEBAR: The kids have had less trouble with our current situation than their dear old mom. What's that all about?
In The Presence Of A Holy God
Sinful, filthy, ruined
Destroyed beyond repair
I cannot approach a Holy God
I do not even dare
But still He whispers my name
"Child, do not hesitate
I love you, how I love you
I am willing to wait
My work on the cross was complete & final
You do not need to fear
It's all been taken care of
The way between us is clear"
And still He whispers my name
"Child do not hesitate
I love you, how I love you
I am willing to wait
The god of Satellite has Died
Well, it happened. The funny thing is....I knew it was bound to happen. I just didn't expect it to happen the way that it did. Long story short, the home is now officially without satellite TV. Only the four basic channels now flow through our TV wavelengths. TV watching is something I've always done. And now...it has come to a complete HALT. I am quite ashamed to admit that I am dying a slow death. Yes, the lack of TV is killing me...quite literally. It is killing the lazy, self indulgent, distracted side of me. I kind of had a clue, but I have ignored it. There was this still small voice calling to me..."Spend time with me. I want to hang out with you. Get to know me a little better." NO! It wasn't my husband or kids. It was my Jesus. I no longer can ignore that still small voice. There is no Little House on the Prairie, Dateline TV, or Snapped sounds to drown them out. It's going to be a process I realize, but I can already tell it is going to be uncomfortable. I'm willing to hang touch, for now. I'm willing to see it through. It's interesting though, I've learned a few things about myself.
1. No noise leaves lots of time for listening, reflecting, and processing.
2. The kids are getting more focused and productive attention
3. I don't even turn the TV on now to watch basic channels, what's that all about? It's not like I can't, I just don't.
1. No noise leaves lots of time for listening, reflecting, and processing.
2. The kids are getting more focused and productive attention
3. I don't even turn the TV on now to watch basic channels, what's that all about? It's not like I can't, I just don't.
Family Bible Study
Last night we did our first Bible study with the kids. We've been praying about how to write God's name on their hearts, and how to plant the seed of Jesus and His love in them, and we found some material we are excited about using with them. Can I just say, the questions they asked us were amazing. I had no idea they were so aware of God and that they had so many questions about Him. I'm sure we'll struggle to keep it going, but we are so committed to making it a priority.
Assessment Pt. 2
God took me seriously 28 years ago. I've said that before. What I haven't realized before is that I have been viciously attacked for the past 28 years by an unseen enemy who would have me taken out of the battle before it even began. I know that I've been redeemed, justified by the blood of Jesus and His work on the cross. What I hadn't realized is that there is a part two to the process. Regeneration. Mark Driscoll refers to Justification as the work that Jesus did on the cross for us, and Regeneration as the work the Holy Spirit does in us. To hear him talk on that more click here.
I don't think I've ever gone through this process. I've been trying to survive for the past 28 years. I've not even given thought to heaving a regenerated heart. So, my journey to regain my Feral Christianity continues. I'm both excited and frightened. Pride will have to die in order for me to let my heart be regenerated. I've been trying to prove I'm God's kids with my acts of service and goodness, which is ridiculous. I'm already God's kid. Imagine that. I'm not saying the past 28 years are a waste, but I do believe I made it a little harder on myself than it needed to be. I've been trying to be good with a nasty heart. What I should have been working for is letting God get rid of my nasty heart. That sounds so simple, but something tells me, it's going to be harder than it appears.
I don't think I've ever gone through this process. I've been trying to survive for the past 28 years. I've not even given thought to heaving a regenerated heart. So, my journey to regain my Feral Christianity continues. I'm both excited and frightened. Pride will have to die in order for me to let my heart be regenerated. I've been trying to prove I'm God's kids with my acts of service and goodness, which is ridiculous. I'm already God's kid. Imagine that. I'm not saying the past 28 years are a waste, but I do believe I made it a little harder on myself than it needed to be. I've been trying to be good with a nasty heart. What I should have been working for is letting God get rid of my nasty heart. That sounds so simple, but something tells me, it's going to be harder than it appears.
Assessment of the 10 + 10 Challenge Pt. 1
Like most things, I took the 10+10 challenge with naive enthusiasm. "I'm going to do it and God's going to change my life. Yes!" Be careful what you ask for, right? God's been messing with my life in ways I wasn't prepared for. Here's just one story.
I met Jesus when I was 6 years old. My life was already a little complicated at such a tender age. I met Him at church and the woman told me a story using a little book with no words and pages full of color.
Black ~ The color of my heart full of sin. At six I knew I did have such a heart.
Orange ~ The color of the fires of Hell, the place you must go to when you choose not to have a relationship with God.
Red ~ The color of the blood that was shed when Jesus died on the cross for my black little heart. I wanted the blackness of my heart to be gone so desperately.
White ~ The color of my heart after it has been washed in the blood of Jesus. I spent a lot of time in the dirt so this was an understandable concept for me.
Gold ~ The color of the place I get to go after my heart is washed. I wasn't too concerned with where I would go when I died, because I was only six, I had a lot of time left.
Blue ~ The color of the waters of baptism. I didn't quite get this part but I like the color blue, and I liked the water. So baptism couldn't be all that bad.
Purple ~ The color of royalty, what I would become as a result of my white heart. As a fatherless child, this held incredible appeal. I not only got a daddy, but I got a daddy who was a king!
Green ~ The color that represented the growth and maturity that would take place over the next years.
I admit, it sounds so simple, but it is what I remember as my salvation experience. That was 28 years ago. I didn't walk away from God. I didn't spend much time building my testimony. But I did spend many years sitting still in the bondage of fear.
I met Jesus when I was 6 years old. My life was already a little complicated at such a tender age. I met Him at church and the woman told me a story using a little book with no words and pages full of color.
Black ~ The color of my heart full of sin. At six I knew I did have such a heart.
Orange ~ The color of the fires of Hell, the place you must go to when you choose not to have a relationship with God.
Red ~ The color of the blood that was shed when Jesus died on the cross for my black little heart. I wanted the blackness of my heart to be gone so desperately.
White ~ The color of my heart after it has been washed in the blood of Jesus. I spent a lot of time in the dirt so this was an understandable concept for me.
Gold ~ The color of the place I get to go after my heart is washed. I wasn't too concerned with where I would go when I died, because I was only six, I had a lot of time left.
Blue ~ The color of the waters of baptism. I didn't quite get this part but I like the color blue, and I liked the water. So baptism couldn't be all that bad.
Purple ~ The color of royalty, what I would become as a result of my white heart. As a fatherless child, this held incredible appeal. I not only got a daddy, but I got a daddy who was a king!
Green ~ The color that represented the growth and maturity that would take place over the next years.
I admit, it sounds so simple, but it is what I remember as my salvation experience. That was 28 years ago. I didn't walk away from God. I didn't spend much time building my testimony. But I did spend many years sitting still in the bondage of fear.
10 + 10 Challenge Day 2
Today my attention was drawn to the story of John the Baptist meets Jesus. It's not a big story, and not a lot is really said with words. I was asked to look a little closer, I have to assume God's finger was pointing it out. Again, I'm not that clever on my own.
So, John just finishes calling the Pharisees on the carpet. "You guys are like rats on a drowning ship." Not exactly what he said, but you get the idea. He's pretty much telling them that if they're looking for the next "How To Get Holy With Three Simple Steps" they're looking in the wrong place. John's mission with baptism was not to make people holy with the water from the river, he was symbolizing the washing that would take place in their hearts and minds. That's a whole different post, but it's worth some thought. So I'm going to move over that for now. Jesus comes through and is ready to be baptized.
I suddenly appreciate the implications of what Jesus is doing. In essence, He is submitting to the authority God has given John the Baptist. I do martial arts. Whenever I see my Sah Bom Nims (masters) I am required to bow and greet them in Korean "Ahn youn ha se oh, TANG SOO!" The Tang Soo should be said with spirit and strength. This is to happen no matter where I am. The first thing I do when I enter the school is, I bow and greet. If I'm at Starbucks and Sah Bom Nim walks in, I bow and greet. If I'm in church and they visit, I bow and greet. I show respect to the years they have dedicated to the art, and the respect I feel for their efforts on my part. So, Jesus coming to be baptized by John is like my Sah Bom Nims coming to me and bowing and greeting me, and asking me to teach them a class. John's repsonse is what I imagine mine would be...I'm not qualified, I'm not even qualified to teach you to stretch, please let me learn something from you."
Jesus was the son of God. He could have just walked up to the scene and informed John that He was going to take over. "Thanks for getting them started." But He restrains Himself and shows respect to what God is doing there and endorses it with His act of humility. What a lesson for my proud heart. Sometimes, I know that I'm right. Sometimes, I know that my way is the way. And I speak out of turn, out of place, with disrespect and disregard. How can God be in that? He can't. I can learn to be humble as my Jesus was humble. He did not exercise His authority over people and strong arm people into doing things His way. He waited and listened and acted, only when God released Him to act and THAT is why He is still changing the world. It sounds so easy, but it will be a lesson I struggle to learn until the day I die.
So, John just finishes calling the Pharisees on the carpet. "You guys are like rats on a drowning ship." Not exactly what he said, but you get the idea. He's pretty much telling them that if they're looking for the next "How To Get Holy With Three Simple Steps" they're looking in the wrong place. John's mission with baptism was not to make people holy with the water from the river, he was symbolizing the washing that would take place in their hearts and minds. That's a whole different post, but it's worth some thought. So I'm going to move over that for now. Jesus comes through and is ready to be baptized.
I suddenly appreciate the implications of what Jesus is doing. In essence, He is submitting to the authority God has given John the Baptist. I do martial arts. Whenever I see my Sah Bom Nims (masters) I am required to bow and greet them in Korean "Ahn youn ha se oh, TANG SOO!" The Tang Soo should be said with spirit and strength. This is to happen no matter where I am. The first thing I do when I enter the school is, I bow and greet. If I'm at Starbucks and Sah Bom Nim walks in, I bow and greet. If I'm in church and they visit, I bow and greet. I show respect to the years they have dedicated to the art, and the respect I feel for their efforts on my part. So, Jesus coming to be baptized by John is like my Sah Bom Nims coming to me and bowing and greeting me, and asking me to teach them a class. John's repsonse is what I imagine mine would be...I'm not qualified, I'm not even qualified to teach you to stretch, please let me learn something from you."
Jesus was the son of God. He could have just walked up to the scene and informed John that He was going to take over. "Thanks for getting them started." But He restrains Himself and shows respect to what God is doing there and endorses it with His act of humility. What a lesson for my proud heart. Sometimes, I know that I'm right. Sometimes, I know that my way is the way. And I speak out of turn, out of place, with disrespect and disregard. How can God be in that? He can't. I can learn to be humble as my Jesus was humble. He did not exercise His authority over people and strong arm people into doing things His way. He waited and listened and acted, only when God released Him to act and THAT is why He is still changing the world. It sounds so easy, but it will be a lesson I struggle to learn until the day I die.
10 + 10 Challenge
10 minutes of Reading
Today I read in Matthew, as suggested. I didn't speed through the begats and found it cool that 5 women made it into the Who Begat Who list. Tamar, Rahab, Ruth, Bathsheba, and Mary. Isn't it funny that four of the five women begat sons from their second marriages AND that ALL of the women had a slightly scandelous history? I thought that was really fascinating. But the question that formed in my mind today had nothing to do with the scandelous women and Mary...or maybe it did.
Jospeh, I noticed, was faced with a choice right off the bat. He would either have to believe that Mary carried the child of God, or not. He was a good man, he had a good reputation. Mary in her condition, would ruin that repuation. Believing in God would mess up what he had spent his past working for. If he chose not to believe Mary is carrying God's son, his future is in jeopardy. Choosing not to believe God puts his future at risk. Believe- sacrifice the past. Not Believe - sacrifice the future. WOW! These five women did have something in common with Joesph after all.
10 Minutes of Praying/Listening
So I listened for a while and I was reminded of Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart., do not depend on your own understanding. The verse sparked a train of thought that I want to believe was God poling around in my heart, because I don't think I would have been this clever on my own. I want to believe like this. I want to trust in the Lord with all my heart, but what would that look like. How would my life change if I trusted in the Lord with all my heart? What would my life look like? It's the thought I am mulling over in my mind and heart today. Let me know if you find any answers, I'm interested to hear them.
Today I read in Matthew, as suggested. I didn't speed through the begats and found it cool that 5 women made it into the Who Begat Who list. Tamar, Rahab, Ruth, Bathsheba, and Mary. Isn't it funny that four of the five women begat sons from their second marriages AND that ALL of the women had a slightly scandelous history? I thought that was really fascinating. But the question that formed in my mind today had nothing to do with the scandelous women and Mary...or maybe it did.
Jospeh, I noticed, was faced with a choice right off the bat. He would either have to believe that Mary carried the child of God, or not. He was a good man, he had a good reputation. Mary in her condition, would ruin that repuation. Believing in God would mess up what he had spent his past working for. If he chose not to believe Mary is carrying God's son, his future is in jeopardy. Choosing not to believe God puts his future at risk. Believe- sacrifice the past. Not Believe - sacrifice the future. WOW! These five women did have something in common with Joesph after all.
10 Minutes of Praying/Listening
So I listened for a while and I was reminded of Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart., do not depend on your own understanding. The verse sparked a train of thought that I want to believe was God poling around in my heart, because I don't think I would have been this clever on my own. I want to believe like this. I want to trust in the Lord with all my heart, but what would that look like. How would my life change if I trusted in the Lord with all my heart? What would my life look like? It's the thought I am mulling over in my mind and heart today. Let me know if you find any answers, I'm interested to hear them.
Mothers Encouragement
I've been going through old video footage of my family. There were unlabeled cassettes and I wanted to know what was on them, so the organizer in me took over and now all the cassettes are identified and labeled. It was crazy to watch my children as infants. They were so small and helpless. They were such a mystery. Who were they? What were they like? What did they enjoy? What would they grow into? And then they grew to toddlers, the first steps, words, EVERYTHING! I watched and savored the moments. I have remembered being impatient, frustrated, and distant, but as I watched those videos I realized, I wasn't those things. There were moments of impatience and frustration. There were moments I distanced myself for the sake of peace and safety. But as I listened to myself talking to the children, I realized there were some good moments in there as well. There were moments of peace and patience, and complete joy. It wasn't ALL bad.
Let's face it, being a stay at home mom is a rough job. It's easy to feel isolated, alone, and completely inept. The most difficult part for me has been the investigation that takes place from the day they are born. If you didn't already know, kids are packages that unfold over the years. We struggle to figure out what they are trying to communicate with us. We struggle to figure out what they want. We struggle to figure out what they like, although it's usually pretty easy to figure out what they don't like. I do this so that I can know how to best meet their needs. But it's tiring, and some days there are no 15 minute breaks, unless they still take naps. Even then there are things to be done, that at the time seem as if they can't wait. Lunch time is more like running an obstacle course while trying to eat. HOWEVER, it's worth the effort to do the investigation. My kids are now 8 and 10 and they are so wonderfully interesting. They are so cool. I enjoy getting to know them and what makes them tick.
So if you...are feeling like they are going crazy; are covered in throw up; haven't taken a shower before noon in months; haven't sat down to eat a meal in who knows how long; wonder if you are going to survive; think no on notices the effort you are making; worry about your kids, please let me encourage you. Hang in there! This too shall pass. You're changing the world with every diaper change, every sippy cup refill, every kiss for every booboo, and every hug and kiss.
Let's face it, being a stay at home mom is a rough job. It's easy to feel isolated, alone, and completely inept. The most difficult part for me has been the investigation that takes place from the day they are born. If you didn't already know, kids are packages that unfold over the years. We struggle to figure out what they are trying to communicate with us. We struggle to figure out what they want. We struggle to figure out what they like, although it's usually pretty easy to figure out what they don't like. I do this so that I can know how to best meet their needs. But it's tiring, and some days there are no 15 minute breaks, unless they still take naps. Even then there are things to be done, that at the time seem as if they can't wait. Lunch time is more like running an obstacle course while trying to eat. HOWEVER, it's worth the effort to do the investigation. My kids are now 8 and 10 and they are so wonderfully interesting. They are so cool. I enjoy getting to know them and what makes them tick.
So if you...are feeling like they are going crazy; are covered in throw up; haven't taken a shower before noon in months; haven't sat down to eat a meal in who knows how long; wonder if you are going to survive; think no on notices the effort you are making; worry about your kids, please let me encourage you. Hang in there! This too shall pass. You're changing the world with every diaper change, every sippy cup refill, every kiss for every booboo, and every hug and kiss.
What is A Right
I usually keep my opinions to myself regarding politics. I have too many friends on both sides of the aisle to wander into these conversations lightly. So please understand right up front that I'm not commenting on politics now, I'm merely posing a question.
My husband asked me yesterday, "What is a right? What do you believe you have a right to?" It's a good question. What do I have a right to? Do I have a right to a job? Do I have a right to healthcare? Do I have a right to life? Do I have a right to a gun?
As I thought about his question, I realized that if you understand what you really have a right to, you will change the way you behave and make choices. Any thoughts any of you might have would be interesting to hear.
My husband asked me yesterday, "What is a right? What do you believe you have a right to?" It's a good question. What do I have a right to? Do I have a right to a job? Do I have a right to healthcare? Do I have a right to life? Do I have a right to a gun?
As I thought about his question, I realized that if you understand what you really have a right to, you will change the way you behave and make choices. Any thoughts any of you might have would be interesting to hear.
Wisdom is Shouting In The Streets
I read Proverbs 1 today and was struck by verse 20 - 21.
Our church, Revolution, has been going through a series by Dave Ramsey on financial issues. Click here to listen. I like to think we are finally educating ourselves. The things he has to say on money are true and his presentation is practical and witty. Check him out and form your own opinion. Our response to his message is that we are endeavoring to get out of debt. We are deciding to become gazelle like in our pursuit of financial freedom. Wisdom will help this pursuit. I will be listening for her today.
Lady Wisdom goes out in the street and shouts.
At the town center she makes her speech.
In the middle of the traffic she takes her stand.
At the busiest corner she calls out:
Provers 1:20-21 (Msg.)
I guess I always thought Lady wisdom was something I needed to search for, pursue, seek, investigate. It almost seems as though wisdom is seeking me according to this verse. It seems wisdom is calling out to anyone who will listen. Of course, I'll hear the argument that this is from the Message and I may be taking it out of context, but the NIV says it the same way. Wisdom stands in the streets calling aloud, raising her voice. It just struck me as funny that all this time I've been looking for wisdom and I find out that wisdom has been looking for me too. My prayer today is that we finally meet each other and unite forces.At the town center she makes her speech.
In the middle of the traffic she takes her stand.
At the busiest corner she calls out:
Provers 1:20-21 (Msg.)
Our church, Revolution, has been going through a series by Dave Ramsey on financial issues. Click here to listen. I like to think we are finally educating ourselves. The things he has to say on money are true and his presentation is practical and witty. Check him out and form your own opinion. Our response to his message is that we are endeavoring to get out of debt. We are deciding to become gazelle like in our pursuit of financial freedom. Wisdom will help this pursuit. I will be listening for her today.
Do I Make Him Proud?
It's funny how so many people have so many definitions of the same word. I once called myself a Christian, but I've seen others claim the same lifestyle and behave so differently than we do. It makes me a little sad. I have to ask myself continually, how am I representing Christ? Would I make Him proud? Would He stand next to me and allow me to call myself His follower? Everything I do, I think about. It's a little obsessive, but I want to make Him proud. Just some thoughts for the day.
Laziness & Complacency
Life has been tough the past two years. I realized last week that we faced many challenges. Challenges I've just now had the opportunity to process. I shared in FoodaholicsAnon(My blog on My Weight Loss Journey) that I've been feeling terribly lazy and complacent. I was getting ready to beat myself up when I decided that would be stupid. It has been difficult. I've faced so many intense emotions and it's normal to go somewhere with those emotions. I went into hiding. I think Tang Soo helped to give me just enough fight to not quit, and there were many times I wanted to quit. So, I'm coming out of hiding and rejoining civilization. Life is short and wasted in fear, laziness, and complacency.
As you grow older, you'll find the only things you regret are the things you didn't do. ~Zachary Scott
Laziness brings on a deep sleep, and the shiftless man goes hungry. ~Proverbs 19:15
As you grow older, you'll find the only things you regret are the things you didn't do. ~Zachary Scott
Laziness brings on a deep sleep, and the shiftless man goes hungry. ~Proverbs 19:15
My name Is Angie and I'm a Foodaholic
I've started a different blog. It might be interesting, it might not. It's something I'm doing for myself, but if you find it helpful....awesome! Click here if you are interested. I'll keep posting here, but on the normal topics.
God Was Faithful
I've recently heard from people I knew almost twenty years ago. It's strange to see once familiar faces of my youth in the now grown faces of strangers. Anyone who knows me knows these happenings have jogged my brain into a frenzy of activity. I moved to Tucson when I married and I left behind the girl I was in Phoenix. I found it strange and terrifying to be in a new place where no one knew my name. I was merely "The Beav's Wife". I spent the last fourteen years of my life reinventing who I am, but had almost forgotten who I once was. I know this may sound trite, but to me it has reminded me of how amazing the love of God truly is. My story is one full of so many mini stories and there is no time to go into them now, but the common thread runs through every event of my life: God was there and He was so faithful.
The Illusion of Mirrors
I've got this mirror in my hallway. I initially hung the mirror so we'd have a place to check our outfits before leaving the house. The only full length mirror we had until then was the mirror that hung on the door in the master bathroom. It was not accessible or convenient. But that was more information that I initially intended to supply. Back to the point. This mirror was hung with less that permanent adhesive. Why? I don't know. As a result the middle of the mirror comes free and creates an unflattering illusion. I spent almost two months walking down the hall looking down the mirror and hating myself. It makes me look FAT! I've gained some weight, but this mirror makes me look like my middle is retaining an ocean. I was putting towels away and realized the problem. I pushed the mirror back into the adhesive and took a step back. A miracle happened. I didn't look AS big as the mirror had suggested. I spent the rest of the day laughing at myself. It was at the end of the day that I learned a lesson. The mirror of my life is sometimes askew. If I don't adjust it from time to time I'll get a false image. Staying plugged into God will help me adjust.
Sidebar – I was relating this story to my mom and she laughed. She said, "I've always hated that mirror, but I'm glad you learned something for it."
Down Time
We were blessed enough to spend time in La Jolla this week. It was a little taxing, we were chaperones, but it was mostly relaxing. My favorite part was the time I got to spend with John. It's amazing how much we needed that time together. We knew we needed that time, but we didn't realize how much we needed it. We got to visit Disneyland, the beach, and Scripps Aquarium. The picture is from the aquarium. It never ceases to amaze me how awesome God is in His creation of sea life. I am in awe of it.
Time Out
I'm heading off to La Jolla tomorrow and I'm totally excited. We've had a rough year and I'm really looking forward to some time away from reality. I hope I get it, if not, I'll deal. I always do. I've got such a great support system, it's hard to feel sorry for myself. It almost seems wrong to pout when I have so much love.