Faithwalking is easy for CHUMPS

This week the Pastor Man opened up Nehemiah's life a little more by examining the distractions he faced.   He's building the wall and these guys, their names is incredibly old school and hard to pronounce so I leave them out, are trying to get him to stop building.  Distractions!  You face distractions, I face distractions.  It happens.  I actually get to live this out in my week.  Recently my hubby and I have felt God asking me to reexamine the focus of my area of service.  We've prayed and prayed and agree with God (that's always a good conclusion isn't it) my focus will change.  The decision hadn't even been made for 2 minutes when I heard all the arguments in my head on why I should stay on my current course.  ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!  Not to mention, this week is the craziest week of our month.  So I'm also hearing arguments like, "And you think you can handle that? You're a fool!"  Seriously, no lie.  It's brutal.  At times, it's everything I can do not to quit.  Anyone who tells you a life of faith is easy...IS A CHUMP!  That's right, I said it, a CHUMP! You would think I would struggle with thoughts like these...

"What am I supposed to do?"  "Where should I serve?"  "How involved should I be?"  

NO! Those are the questions I already have answers to.  The thoughts I have been wrestling with go more like this...

"It's going to require every ounce of me."  "It's going to be hard."  "I'm going to have to depend on You God, otherwise this won't get done." 

I know what God is asking of me.  I know He can get it done in me.  What I don't know is this, how many times am I going to let Him down?  How many times am I going to want to quit?  How many times am I going to fight thoughts of inadequacy?  I get tired just writing it down.  Those are the thoughts I wrestle with, and I know I'm not the only one.  You just aren't talking about your wrestling match.  I know God is big enough, but if I commit to this I'm committing 100%.  There is no halfway, there is no "I'll see how it goes".  I do it or I don't.

What's my point? My point is, serving God is typically HARD.  No one gets it easy.  The Bible is full of stories of guys and gals who decided to serve God and then got their lives messed up.  We shouldn't be focusing on how to keep the faith walk easy, we should be focusing on how to fight while we're on the faith walk.  I'll share my strategies with you if you don't mind.  It's not that I think you need them, I just need to write them down, because today I am going to have to fight on my faith walk and I need to refresh my memory.

1. Pray.  Don't pray some fancy, wordy prayer.  When I'm start wrestling with feelings of inadequacy and thoughts of quitting I just pray a simple seemingly wimpy prayer.  "God I need you.  I need you.  I can't do this by myself. I need you."  Make it your own prayer but make it simple and to the point.

2. Read your Bible.  Yes, it works.  Read Nehemiah, read Psalms, read Proverbs, read SOMETHING.  Get familiar with what God says about you.  

3. Finally, Pray some more.

Repeat this process as necessary.  Don't get stuck on, "I should be beyond this" "I shouldn't be struggling with this." That's pride and that's sin.  It will only delay the process.

Now, to go and live what I write.

Goodbye 2009

December 31st is usually a day I take to look over the past year.  What have I done with my life?  How have I spent my time? Have I made God's name famous with my life?


As I look back over the year, the one event that changed my life was the news of a carcinogenic polyp.  It had no physical impact on my life, but the spiritual and emotional impact lasted all year.  Cancer.  It took me a while to grasp the impact of it.  At first I was angry, and then I was terrified.  I could die someday.  We found it quite by accident, but God is so sovereign, there are no accidents with Him.  My immediate thoughts went to "What if we had not found that? I would have died and left my family here without me."  My next thought was, "Have I been diligent to teach my children?"  The answer was no.  That was in January.  The remainder of the year I spent on my face! "I have been a poor steward of the life God has given me. Help us to prepare their hearts for You." I believe God is answering my prayer.  We've got a long way to go, but I am learning to savor each moment with my children.  The moments of their childhood are fleeting.  I want to be a good steward with these precious little lives, no matter how much they frustrate me.
In two years, I'll have to go again and allow the doctors to search for new carcinogenic polyps.  I cannot control what they will find, believe me I've done my research.  There is nothing I can do to control what grows and develops, but God can.  I want to say at that point, that I have been a good and faithful, but not perfect, steward of my life, regardless of what they find or don't find.
So, 2009 has been a year of deaths for me.  Death to the ideas I once held, death to the things I though were so important, death to the worry over trivial matters, death to my flesh, death to my flesh again, and death to my flesh some more.  It has been a good year and I am so glad that I survived, no I take that back. I am so glad that God has been free to grow me and develop me despite the struggles.  I look forward to 2010.  I do not know what it holds.  I only know God will have His way and I cannot wait to see what that looks like.

Family Bible Study

Last night we did our first Bible study with the kids. We've been praying about how to write God's name on their hearts, and how to plant the seed of Jesus and His love in them, and we found some material we are excited about using with them. Can I just say, the questions they asked us were amazing. I had no idea they were so aware of God and that they had so many questions about Him. I'm sure we'll struggle to keep it going, but we are so committed to making it a priority.

Mistake #2 - Sweating the Small Stuff

I tend to hold on way too long to stuff that doesn't really matter. What kind of stuff do you ask? Insignificant things really, things like how the laundry is folded; if the laundry gets folded; how clean the house is; whether or not insignificant things are done exactly the way I want them done. These are the things I get worked up about. The biggest one is what people think of me. What do they think of me? Do they think I am a good mother, do they think I am a good wife? What can I do to improve the quality of woman I am portraying? The funny thing I realized this year as I people watched from the comfort of my friendless shell is that people are worried about so much that they hardly notice me. Can you imagine, the gall of some people not to notice me? I know! I am flabbergasted. So my effort was in vain. What a waste!

I had to shift my focus and efforts onto something more productive. Maybe I could focus on actually being a good wife and mother rather than just trying to make myself look like a good wife and mother. And then, I heard it...the sentence that both wounded and healed my heart. This sentence would be my focus and my motivation for the remainder of my life. There can be no true love if there are only thoughts of self. Hold on, let me take the knife out of my HEART! The worrying I do about the house being clean, and the laundry being done, and how I look to outsiders is so insignificant in comparison to those inside my house who suffer from my worrying. If this sentence is true, then I had to admit that the love I claimed to feel for my husband and children was empty as long as I was worried about how I was perceived. Sweating the small stuff keeps me from truly loving those closest to me. Sweating the small stuff costs way too much. Life is so short and before I know it the kids will be grown and doing their own thing. I will have all the time in the world to clean house and fold laundry. The funny thing is when that time comes I'll be wishing for these days...these days I take for granted. So I'm learning to sit back, relax, let the house be imperfect, let the laundry take longer than a day to do, let others think what they want, and I am finding myself happier. I am also finding that I am truly loving and loved truly.
I once heard someone say Being loved and loving is more important than being perfect and I couldn't agree more.

What Are You Passionate About

Just two of the things I'm passionate about

Someone once asked me what I was passionate about. At the time I wasn't sure how to answer. I am passionate about my family. It is my highest priority, other than being a godly woman, to be a great wife to my wonderful husband and a godly mother to my highly energetic children. It isn't easy to fulfill these tasks. It is the hardest work I have ever done. I've been thinking about it for a while and I realized I know what I am passionate about. I am passionate about families. I am passionate about sharing my experiences in an effort to help other women achieve their dreams of family. Everyone has something they are passionate about and I love that they vary greatly from person to person. My passion it family and keeping them whole. I don't know how God will use that for His service, but I am open to finding out.

Rose Canyon

Mount Lemmon. Ahhhh. My Sunday escape. Each week our family takes a Sabbath. My husband started this habit last year in an attempt to give me some quiet time to myself. It was intended to be a mini break for me, but ended up being a day of relaxation for them. I usually found some chore or odd job that needed to be done. It was not usually relaxing for me. This year, my husband invited me to join them. I hesitated at first. I am usually too prepared to just enjoy the kind of trip this is for them. But after prodding from all three of them, I conceded and up the mountain I went. My husband even bought a hammock for me so that I would be forced to relax. It works! Every Sunday I relax and prepare for the week ahead. It's been a nice addition to our lives and highly recommend a Sabbath for anyone. It's God's way of giving us permission to rest. He knew we needed it, that's why he made it a rule. The picture above was taken on the way up to Rose Canyon. The hubby thinks it looks like a volcano. We both think it is a gorgeous display of God's creativity.

Meet Xena

We've added a new member to our family. Xena the Warrior Princess. She's a cute little gal and we are so glad to have her.

She is a little sleepy from all the excitement.

Jefe and Xena getting to know each other.

So sleepy.

Do you think they are happy to have her?