What Am I Doing and Why?

As I have kept this blog I have come to a point where I wonder....what's the point? Why do I keep this blog? If I stop to think about it, it is quite arrogant of me to think that the world wants to hear the ponderings of a homemaker from the tumbleweeds. What do I have to say that is so different from anyone else in the world? Don't get me wrong, I'm not looking for pats on the backs or encouragements, I'm seriously asking the question of myself.

I began this blog in an attempt to reconnect with some lost part of myself, a part that was vital to the quality of my life. That was two years ago. What I have learned is that I am wild. I am rambunctious. I am sensitive. I don't much like that discovery, but I am a girl and I am sensitive. I am passionate about my family. It explains why I take my job with them so seriously. It is something I feel passionately about and will stop trying to feel otherwise. I do like order when the time calls for it, but otherwise I love the chaos of life. It often stresses me out, but I am learning to savor it and almost enjoy it. My job at this time is to raise my children. My job until I die is to love, serve, and respect my husband. My job to come is beginning to become clear, but it does frighten me at times. However, I'm not completely clear, so I'l keep this one under my hat. But the most important discovery is that I love Jesus and He loves me so completely. It is a love I do not understand or even wish to explain. It is a love I choose to accept and embrace.

So one goal of my blog is being met. It will be a lifelong process I'm sure. Now to figure out what to do next.

Do I Make Him Proud?

It's funny how so many people have so many definitions of the same word. I once called myself a Christian, but I've seen others claim the same lifestyle and behave so differently than we do. It makes me a little sad. I have to ask myself continually, how am I representing Christ? Would I make Him proud? Would He stand next to me and allow me to call myself His follower? Everything I do, I think about. It's a little obsessive, but I want to make Him proud. Just some thoughts for the day.

My name Is Angie and I'm a Foodaholic

I've started a different blog. It might be interesting, it might not. It's something I'm doing for myself, but if you find it helpful....awesome! Click here if you are interested. I'll keep posting here, but on the normal topics.

The Illusion of Mirrors

I've got this mirror in my hallway. I initially hung the mirror so we'd have a place to check our outfits before leaving the house. The only full length mirror we had until then was the mirror that hung on the door in the master bathroom. It was not accessible or convenient. But that was more information that I initially intended to supply. Back to the point. This mirror was hung with less that permanent adhesive. Why? I don't know. As a result the middle of the mirror comes free and creates an unflattering illusion. I spent almost two months walking down the hall looking down the mirror and hating myself. It makes me look FAT! I've gained some weight, but this mirror makes me look like my middle is retaining an ocean. I was putting towels away and realized the problem. I pushed the mirror back into the adhesive and took a step back. A miracle happened. I didn't look AS big as the mirror had suggested. I spent the rest of the day laughing at myself. It was at the end of the day that I learned a lesson. The mirror of my life is sometimes askew. If I don't adjust it from time to time I'll get a false image. Staying plugged into God will help me adjust.

Sidebar – I was relating this story to my mom and she laughed. She said, "I've always hated that mirror, but I'm glad you learned something for it."

Down Time

We were blessed enough to spend time in La Jolla this week. It was a little taxing, we were chaperones, but it was mostly relaxing. My favorite part was the time I got to spend with John. It's amazing how much we needed that time together. We knew we needed that time, but we didn't realize how much we needed it. We got to visit Disneyland, the beach, and Scripps Aquarium. The picture is from the aquarium. It never ceases to amaze me how awesome God is in His creation of sea life. I am in awe of it.

Time Out

I'm heading off to La Jolla tomorrow and I'm totally excited. We've had a rough year and I'm really looking forward to some time away from reality. I hope I get it, if not, I'll deal. I always do. I've got such a great support system, it's hard to feel sorry for myself. It almost seems wrong to pout when I have so much love.

Who Am I

I have these moments in life where I ask myself...who are you? I perceive myself as an introvert who wishes to avoid challenge and new experiences. And yet, I look at my life and realize... these are not the actions of one who avoids challenges. I'm taking on new challenges, pushing myself to limits, and exploring the world that is outside of my comfort zone. I'm doing new things at 34 that I never would have thought of doing in my 20's. So again I ask the question, who are you and what have you do with.....me?

Weighing In

Now that I'm healthy again...almost...it's time to get get back into shape.
Even now I am formulating excuses as to my lack of discipline and many of them are good, but none of them help me to do what I need to do now. I figure if I put it out here, I'll follow through with my plans. I'm very much about how I am seen. I try not to play into this very often, but I think it might help me accomplish what I'm trying to do. So, here we go. Back to the treadmill.

Procedures, Anniversaries, & Sushi

So I'm sure everyone wants to hear about my day, but I thought it was pretty funny. Yesterday was my thirteen anniversary...yeah for us. It has been thirteen great years. They have been some of the hardest years of my life, because I have been required to become less selfish and to become more giving. It's a good process and I am thankful for it. But to mark my thirteen anniversary, I had a procedure done. If you really want to know go ahead and ask. Let's just say I didn't get to eat for more than 24 hours. That's torture enough for me. My reward would be sushi so I endured.

Nature

I love nature. I love looking at flowers, trees, animals, anything that God made I find fascinating. While we were in California we saw so many colors that I couldn't help myself with the camera. I am posting them here. I hope you enjoy them.

It is believed that roses are planted in vineyards for several reasons. The one I found interesting is that roses and grapevines are susceptible to the same plant diseases. The roses develop them faster so if the roses get sick the farmers check the grapevines.

This is the entrance to one of the wineries we visited. I wanted to pull to sit down and read a book, have a glass of wine, or just listen to the quiet.



These are flowers that lined the walkway of one of the wineries we visited.

California Missions

While we were in California, we visited the mission in Soledad of Mission Neustra Senora Dolorosisima de Soledad. I've included a link for those who are interested. I won't bore the rest of you with then details.

It was a very interesting location full of the history and scenery I totally dig.
It is quite ironic that the location was known for being a lonely location.

I learned from my father in law that the missions were distanced to be a days walking distance so that the priests could walk by day to their destination and have a place to stay when night fell.

The beams in this chapel are painted three different colors. I'm not sure why, maybe it's just to make it look pretty, but I did find it very interesting that every aspect of this chapel was paid attention in the reconstruction. If I find an answer I'll let you know.

California Trip

We went on our annual trip to California to visit my sister in law. The picture is of a vineyard we visited while we were there. I love the colors of Salinas. You can't go anywhere without seeing something growing. Fruit, vegetables, grapes for wine. We also visited a mission. That was a very cool experience. I'll post those pictures later, but I figured I had better put up a new picture since it has been a while. I deliberately took pictures while we were in Salinas so I would have new images to post. Here is the first of many to come. There's lots happening here at the casita which will explain my briefness for today, but all is well regardless of all that is changing.

Vampire Snack

So I got to be a vampire snack today for the nurse. That was not too bad. We're checking for any vitamin deficiencies. Cool. Didn't know blood could tell you all of that. I get to take pictures of my insides on Friday. That should be pretty eventful. I'm trying to get everything done before we leave for California.
Oh yeah, California. We will be leaving on Tuesday for our annual trip to Salinas to visit John's sister and then off to DISNEYLAND! It's our wind town trip after the volleyball season. The kids give up time with us during the volleyball season and this has been our way just to spend some time with our kids. We'll get ready for our the holiday season when we get home. We are so excited about the holiday season. We love Christmas here at the Whitby home. But that is another post entirely. I'm looking forward to visiting with our California family and looking forward to catching up. Either way, the testing will be done and I'll be able to relax.

Here We Go Again

I'll be honest. There is no actual point to this point. It is my vain attempt to keep from losing my mind today. Doesn't it seem like life keeps moving even when you're calling for a time out? I know it does for me. However, amidst the kids fighting and screaming, I have stolen away for a few minutes of mental rest. A deep sigh escapes my lips and I realize I should go pray.

Adventures

So I've been allowed the honor of leading worship a couple of times at our church. It is always something I've dreamed of doing and have enjoyed the occasions I've been allowed to share my talents this way. This evening I felt like I struggled more than I would have liked but, I've learned two lessons this week. So I suppose my discomfort was not in vain.

1. Stick with keys you already are comfortable with while your throat is sore, otherwise it is hard to sing them later when your voice starts to feel better.
2. Practice like you aren't comfortable with the songs even if you are comfortable with the songs.

I'm not sure how long I'll be allowed to continue doing this, but I'm going to enjoy it as long as I have the opportunity. It's been a great adventure and I'm learning so much about myself and the abilities God has given me.

Ramblings of a Crazy Woman

***Warning this post is a little garbled as I attempt to make some sense out of my life. Read at your own risk**

Feral Christianity. An attempt to get back to the roots of who I am and who God created me to be. As life throws things at you and as you interact with those around you...you alter yourself to survive. I know I have done this. This may not be what God intended me to do. I wonder sometimes, if who I have allowed myself to become and who God wanted me to be are two different people. I've changed or suppressed parts of myself to avoid being strange, weird, and ultimately rejected. I get rejected anyway. I'm at a point in my life where some of those parts I got rid of were parts I find I need now. UGGGG! How do I get them back?
This year, there seems to be a focus in our lives about being completely dependent on God. There is an emphasis on allowing God to be who He is while I am obedient to His bidding to be who He has called me to be. The problem with that is, I'm not always sure I want to be who He's called me to be. It's the proverbial foot wanting to be a hand. I used to believe that the gifts God had given me didn't really jive with who I had envisioned myself being. I'm finding now, that the gifts God has given me can only be used successfully in conjunction with who He's called me to be. The kicker is, I am most content and at peace when I use my gifts according to His Will. So who's fighting this? If my spirit is at peace doing God's bidding and my gifts go perfectly with who God created me to be...where did I get the idea that I should be something else? Feeling confused yet, don't worry I confuse even myself.

Unrecognized Contributions

Isn't it amazing how people contribute to your life and you don't even realize it. I ran into the relative of a family I knew when I was young last week. The husband and wife were such a neat couple. I remember watching them together upon his return from deployment and thought to myself, I hope someday I have a husband that I love as much. I hope my children have a father that loves them with such devotion. It's funny, I grew up and married a man who is just that. As I remember this family, I have to smile to myself as I realize how good God is. He allowed me to see an example of a godly man even though there was no permanent example in my life. He gave me a model to refer to as I chose my husband. I don't even know if they know what an impact they had on my life, but I'm glad that God used them just the same.

Still Working On It

I posted a while back that God was working something new in me and that I wanted to share it with you all, but I wanted to wait until it was more developed. Well, He's still working it. It's so funny that I thought He was going to explain it to me and I was so wrong. He has so graciously allowed me the opportunity to learn on the job. So, for those of you who are waiting for it, it's coming.

Baby Borrowers

Okay so I've been sucked into this series called the Baby Borrowers. I swore I wouldn't keep watching it, but I've been amazed at the whole idea. I'm not one for reality-shows. My own reality often is enough for me to handle let alone getting caught up in someone else's reality. However, my friend Hopsy and I watched the season premiere of the show and were shocked by the whole experiment. The premise is that a teen age couple gets a shot at being parents. They are cocky teen agers who know everything and think their parents are just clueless as to their abilities and capabilities. Last night they showed how the teens interacted with the toddlers they were given. As I watched, I began to remember how much work John and I put into those years. I had actually forgotten. It was good to see. As I awoke this morning, and was immediately faced with the children, who I cannot give back in three days, and my own reality. They came into the house and presented me with a problem they had found outside. I gave them, what I thought was, a pretty simple solution. Their answer was, "Ehh, I'll just wait until you do it". WHAT?! If I hadn't watched the show last night I might have just gone on, frustrated that I would have to go and solve this problem for them. But I remembered. I remembered the time I have put into these miraculous little humans. I remembered that I have been pooped on, peed on, thrown up on, sneezed on, boogered on, spit at, yelled at, kicked at, swung at, screamed at, bitten, hit, kicked, and I realized...I have done alot. I kept them alive, I kept them fed, I kept them comforted and safe. So, I responded to the beautiful little faces that live in my home, in the only way I felt appropriate, "Get out there and fix the problem yourselves, now!" They went. They now feel accomplished, and I know I'm doing a good job. Not to mention, I get to finish my morning cup of coffee.

Something On The Light Side

Now for some lighter topics. We went to see WALL-E this weekend. I've linked it to Dove.org for those who have kids and are interested in specific details.. If you haven't seen it yet, you may not want to read this. I'm not going to give away the ending or anything like that, but some people would rather not hear about it before they watch it.
Okay so my teen-ager works at the movie theater and was able to get some passes for us to go and see the movie WALL-E. It's a cute movie, if you are a kid who misses underlying messages. The characters were adorable and I really liked how they developed the relationship between to two main characters. However, I really could have done without the guilt trip at the beginning of the movie. Right off the bat you are hit with how much damage the human race is doing to the world. I'm not going to argue about the veracity of this statement, but I am going to argue that when I'm going to a theater to settle down for a time of relaxation and enjoyment with my family, I really don't want to be put on a guilt trip. I dodge guilt trips all day long from people who want what I can't give or won't because good sense demands I deny them their desires. Anyway, I ignored the whole feeling of guilt so it was wasted as far as I am concerned. The movie would have been cute without it. The only other thing that scared me was the humans. Our future is looked at in a very negative light and I was a little surprised that WALL-E didn't get any criticism for it's interpretation of the obesity issue and Kung-Fu Panda did. I don't get it. Anyway, the kids loved it and can't stop talking about it. I enjoyed it. It was cute and had some comical scenes, but do have to say that the highlight was the short movie before WALL-E. My hubby and I were laughing so hard we were shedding tears.