Seeking His Kingdom

Today I received an excited phone call from my husband. It's no secret that money is scarce right now, so we've really been relying on God to keep us focused on His reality and not our own. God gave my man the opportunity to share faith with a young man today and my man took the opportunity. He mentioned being concerned for a moment that he really should be working on his to do list rather than jabbering, but was reminded that he was about God's business.
Matthew reminds us to seek God's kingdom first and then all the worries of our days will get taken care of and I know I forget this too many times. God isn't asking us to take care of our to do list and then start working on His to do list. He asks us to work on HIS to do list first! I am finding that often times, while I am working on His list, He is working on mine. I like the way the message puts Matthew 6:30-34

"If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don't you think he'll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I'm trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God's giving. People who don't know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met. Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.

Mail

Mail is a pain in the bottom end of society. Does anyone else agree? It can be the source of a letter from an old friend. It can be the source of a bill telling you the money you worked hard to earn needs to go elsewhere. Either way I strongly dislike mail. I had to spend a few minutes opening mail we had been putting off. It was as annoying as I was anticipating. I'm really trying to find a way to consider this pure joy. If any of you have any ideas I would love to hear them.
Let me tell you, walking on the wild side is proving to be as challenging as I expected. I really hope I'm up for the challenge.

A Bad Country Western Song

My husband is looking for work.
I broke my toe.
And my dog died.

The makings of a western song....wouldn't you agree. But I heard quote the other day and it made me thinks.

We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same. ~Carlos Castaneda (1925-1998) author, philosopher

I have a choice to make. I can either put work into being miserable or I can put work into being strong. So, I went to church tonight. I actually go to play bass which is always fun. And it was good to be home! It was good to see familiar faces. It was good to visit with them. I choose to put work into being strong. I figure, everyone I know who is miserable is alone. I don't want to be alone.

Friends of Denia the Dog

Our dog Denia is ill and has been for a week now. We're going to put her down today and end her suffering. It's difficult for everyone to see her in pain. She's been part of our family for 12 years. We'll miss her dearly and remember her fondly.

Acts 2 Christianity

As I was reading today I noticed something about the Acts Christians life.

Acts 2:42 says they were devoted to four things.
They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer.

1. The apostles' teachings
2. Fellowship
3. The breaking of bread (including the Lord's supper)
4. Prayer

Those are pretty straightforward and to the point. And I began to wonder today, what would my life look like if those were the things I devoted myself to? I know our pastor talked about this a couple of weeks ago, but I really want to park on this for a while. How would it change my life if I focused on these four things? The outreach they did afterwards only came from the devotion to these practices. They didn't feel the need to organize a day of outreach, it just came natural to them. Was it because they had devoted themselves to studying God's teachings? Was it because they had been fellowshipping with each other? Was it because they had broken bread together and spent time contemplating the sacrifice Jesus had just made for them? Was it because they had been immersed in prayer for each other and the will of God for their lives? These are questions that are running through my mind.

Follow Me

As we continue to pray for direction in our lives, I am learning a lesson about my DAD. My reading today was Acts 1. It struck me today that as the disciples waited for the promise of the Holy Spirit, they had no idea what they were waiting for. Jesus told them to wait and they did. The questions must have been marinating in their minds.
What is the Holy Spirit?
What will this look like?
How will it happen?
How will we know it has happened?
As I read Acts 1, I know what they are waiting for, but for the first time I understand they did not. I understand this feeling right now. Waiting! Waiting for a promise from God can be a bit unnerving. How will I know I am going in the right way? How will I know it has happened? How will I know I have followed His Will? And then He answers. So sweet and so convicting....don't you know my voice by now? How long have you followed me? How long have you loved me? How long have I held you in my hand and kept you with me? You will know because you know ME. It's both reassuring and unsettling, if you know me at all. I second guess almost everything I do. It's something I am working on, but it will be a life-long process. I know HIM! My whole life God has been the air I breathe, as the songwriter so passionately wrote, I am desperate for Him, and I truly am lost without Him. It's true I am a bit lost with Him, but at least one of us knows where I am. Right?

Sacrifice in the Name of Love

Many times we are asked to sacrifice things in the name of love. Those things can be anything from a car to a hobby. We often sacrifice for a friend, a spouse, a child, or a career. But what about God. What happens we we are asked to sacrifice in the name of love for God? Who can prove that it was God who asked for the sacrifice? Who can prove it wasn't? My husband is faced with such a choice and so by my relation to him I am faced with it as well. It isn't easy to look at. It sure raises the question: How can we be sure we're moving in God's will? We so thought we were right on track. However, now it seems that the very thing we are being asked to sacrifice is one of the things we were sure was part of God's will for our life. I don't mean to be such a downer, but I like to keep things real here. That's what is going on in the life of this feral Christian today. I'll tell you though, I'm starting to wonder if I really want to be on the wild side. It's a little more dramatic here. I like to keep things neat and orderly. I like my ducks in a row and ready to roll. Right now it feels like my ducks all over the lake with no intent of returning.

But God, No One Will Listen!

As I continued reading about Moses today in Exodus, one verse stuck out to me.

So Moses told the people of Israel what the Lord had said, but they refused to listen anymore. They had become too discouraged by the brutality of their slavery. ~Exodus 6:8

No one would listen to the man God had sent to deliver them. What is even more comical is the conversation that takes place between God and Moses in verse twelve. And understand I am completely paraphrasing.
God ~ Moses go do what I've told you to do please.
Moses ~ But God, no one will listen to me. What makes you think Pharaoh will listen to me?
God ~ He won't. He's going to be stubborn. I'm going to make you look like a god who can do miracles and he's going to ignore us. Then we're going to punish him, and he still won't listen. But I'll eventually win.

Moses did go. Pharaoh was stubborn. I'm not finished reading this story, but I know the outcome. God will win.

Things look so overwhelming right now in our lives, but I know I serve a big God. I know He is in control and if I know anything I know, He will win in the story of my life.

Snappo!

So, I've already posted today, but I had to post again. I broke my toe! A fracture of the proximal phalanx. Yeah, during sparring class. But the good news is, I got a kick in before I was finished for the day. I can officially say I've broken more bones in my adult life than I did in my childhood.

Taking the Plunge

I haven't done my reading yet, but I felt compelled to write. I've been mulling over a conversation we had with some friends this weekend. This month has been difficult for us financially and spiritually. Financially, our family is about to undergo a transition. We are excited that God is in control but terrified at what the final product will be. We know God has our best interests at heart and will trust that, as we move forward, He will guide us. As you are trusting God financially, spiritually you will always go through a testing process. We have been enlightened as to what is really important in life and what our purpose truly is. It all sounds positive but when you are going through it, it feels horrible. We shared some of the thoughts we had with friends who share our faith and they were so encouraging. It was difficult and terrifying to take the plunge of vulnerability and transparency, but as we parse through it today we realize that the risk of sharing with our friends was so worth it. They were supportive and insightful and most importantly, slow to judge. This is what Christian community should be. I have felt hungry for true community and almost fearful that it didn't exist. Again, God comes through for us and uses our faith family as the avenue.

You Will Fail

Today's reading led me to Luke 22. This is the chapter of the last supper, the moment Jesus tells his disciples that He will die, and furthermore their faith will be tested. Simon Peter, specifically, is informed of his upcoming failure. I'm sure Peter must have felt a sense of betrayal at the news. "Jesus, how could you imagine that I would deny you?" Enraged and wounded he informs Jesus that he would die for Him. Then, Simon Peter denies his Lord, not only once, but three times. I have felt this sense of disappointment, while I admit, I'm sure Peter's was a little more intense. But to deny your best friend three times is horrible. But to do it and then remember that your best friend already knew you would fail him in this away, must have stung the heart with great intensity. Did Simon Peter hear Jesus' words echoing in his ears after the offense? "Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers." (Luke 22:-31-32) Simon, you will fail me, but don't let your faith in me fail you. This is just powerful to me today. I will fail God from time to time, but will I allow my faith in God to fail me? Brings new perspective to mistakes and faith.

Meanwhile Back At The Pyramid...

My reading has taken me to the life of Moses. This is a story we all think we've heard a million times. But today, as I was reading the first two chapters of Exodus I noticed a trend in the life of Moses. He was compelled to take up the cause of the underdog. It starts with his walk through the neighborhood. He notices "one of his own people" being beaten by an Egyptian. He intervenes, which results in death for the Egyptian. The next day he notices two Hebrews in a disagreement and again goes to intervene. This time he is called on his actions from the previous day and is compelled to take it on the run. Now, as he is on the run he comes across the seven daughters of the Midian priest, Reuel. They are being harassed by shepherds trying to take over the watering hole. Again, Moses comes to the rescue.
What I noticed about these stories is that this is the man who will lead the Israelites to freedom. This is the man who will intervene on their behalf before Pharaoh under the direction of the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. I operated under the assumption that God called Moses to do something he didn't even want to do, and that God called Moses to do something that was outside of his nature to do. I am starting to think I was wrong. Moses always had a soft spot for the Hebrew people. I believe that is why God chose him to lead the same people out of Egypt. God didn't force Moses to function outside of who he was, God called Moses to take who he was to a higher level. God created Moses and he knew what was in Moses' heart to do. God asked Moses to fulfill his purpose. God gave Moses His approval. Of course Moses was freaked out! Moses knew it was something that needed to be done, and God knew Moses was the man for the job.
So today I ask the question, what things do I feel compelled to do? Do they fit with those things I have always felt passionate about? Is that a way for me to decide whether or not they fit into God's plan for my life? Already I can think of one thing that doesn't fit into what I have always felt a passion for. This view could change everything.

Ten Commandments

Dad (God) has been talking to me lately about teaching the kids to have a quiet time. I wasn't sure how to go about it. Dad suggested I start teaching them the Ten Commandments. I'm not sure if you realize this or not, but it's hard to teach the Big Ten to a 7 and 8 year old. I wanted them to understand what the rules meant in their world today. When you get to no graven images, you have to do a little explaining and then apply it to today. Well, I am glad to report that it has been going better than I thought it would. I have been sitting down with each commandment at the end of my personal quiet time and asking Dad to help me put the command into terms they'll understand for a long time. He gives me the insight I need and I present it to the kids. They love it! After we have talked about the commandment for about 10 minutes i have them either write what it means to them or draw a picture of what it means to them. Their pictures have been fabulous. I love seeing how it is interpreted in their minds. After they are done with their pictures I ask them to write a prayer to God. These prayers have touched my heart more than I realized they would. I don't always get to read them all. Sometimes my son asks me not to read his prayer. I respect his request. It's his relationship with God and I don't want him to feel that I have intruded on it.
As I watch their young minds grasp the concept of God's rules I understand how simple the rules are to learn and how difficult they are to live. When we got to commandment #1, we really learned some things about ourselves we were not ready to admit. Things like the X-Box can become a god, the Wii can become a god, even people can become gods. It has been neat to watch them take that knowledge into their day and use it.
In case you are interested here is just a sample of what is being posted in our home class to remind us of the commandments we have learned so far.

Commandment #1
No other gods. Only me. Kid application ~ If it takes my focus off of God it could become a god.

Feral Womanhood

I've been watching more guy movies lately with my man and I have decided that, while I enjoy the occasional chick flick, I REALLY enjoy guy movies. No I am wrong, guy movies are filled with cleavage and heels, I enjoy MAN movies. Movies of courage, valor, nobility, and brotherhood. I enjoy the movie 300, Last of the Mohican's, Troy, The Last Samurai, Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, and any of the Lord of the Rings. The thing I like about these movies is they inspire me to bravery, courage, and wildness. My favorite characters are women who are strong, embrace their strength unapologetically, and are embraced for their strength. Eowyn in Lord of the Rings is my favorite character. Her courage and desire to fight for what she believes in made me want to pick up a sword and take on a ring wraith. Her stand against the witch king chilled me to the very marrow of my bones. Even talking about it is enough to get my blood boiling.
I love being a woman, but that has been something I have come into within the last few years. I hated womanhood and what it signified in my mind. It was to be weak and vulnerable. But I was so wrong. In order to be a great woman you must possess the softness of femininity. It is in our femininity that our strength truly lies. I have heard for so long that we are all the same. Whatever you can do I can do better. I cannot do everything better than a man and I am glad for that. I don't want to pump the gas, I don't want to kill the bugs, I don't want to be the stoic one in the middle of an emotional storm, I don't want to be logical, I don't want to be the one to carry the responsibility. I was not created with the skills I need to be those things and be the best at them. I can hold a wounded heart and be the tool God uses speak healing to it, I can encourage with words only God can give me that will make one want to jump into a losing battle, I can hold a frightened soul and let them know they are not alone as I invite God to saturate our presence, I can love when no one else understands why as God allows me to see them through His eyes. Those were the things I was created to do. There is strength in those attributes. Where you may ask? It takes courage to approach a wounded heard, it takes discipline to allow God to use you to minister to that wounded heart, it takes wisdom to know which words to speak and when, it takes gentle strength to hold a soul on the verge of fleeing, it takes selflessness to love the way that God asks us to love those around us. Is that not strength? As a woman I contribute that strength to the strength my man possesses do not mountains get moved?
So, what is feral womanhood to me? It is allowing myself to exercise my strengths. It is allowing myself to be at peace with my weaknesses. It is embracing who God created me to be, unapologetically, and finding satisfaction in it. I am not oppressed or kept down by my womanhood, I am empowered to be who God created me to be.

Something to Share

I saw this today and wanted to share.

When I Say I Am a Christian by: Carol Wimmer

When I say ... I am a Christian
I'm not shouting "I am saved."
I'm whispering "I get lost"
That is why I chose this way.

When I say ... I am a Christian
I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble
and need someone to be my guide.

When I say ... I am a Christian
I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I am weak
and pray for strength to carry on.

When I say ... I am a Christian
I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed
and cannot ever pay the debt

When I say ... I am a Christian
I'm not claiming to be perfect.
My flaws are too visible
but God believes I'm worth it.

When I say ... I am a Christian
I still feel the sting of pain.
I have my share of heartaches
which is why I seek HIS name.

When I say ... I am a Christian
I do not wish to judge.
I have no authority
I only know I'm loved.

Skandalon

Today my reading took me to Luke 17:1 - 2. It's kinda funny because I was listening in on a conversation that discussed this particular topic, I was talking with Dad(God) and asking Him to help me understand what my responsibility to other's was. So, when I came to my assignment today I had to laugh at how faithful He is to answer me. For those unfamiliar with it, here it is in the King James Version.

Then said he unto the disciples, It is impossible but that offences will come: but woe unto him, through whom they come! It were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he cast into the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones.

That's pretty intense and I would never want to cause someone to stumble and I would never want to hurt someone's relationship with God. I've heard many interpretations of this particular verse and when I read it today I did a little research. The word used for offences is skandalon (look familiar, scandal?). The definition is the movable stick or trigger of a trap, a trap stick, a trap, a snare, any impediment placed in the way and causing one to stumble or fall, any person or thing by which on is (entrapped) drawn into error or sin. There is more, but they are pretty much the same idea. The offence here is an intentional one. It is a deliberate attempt to cause someone to stumble. It is a snare or trap I set for them and for that Jesus says WOE TO YOU! I've always operated under the assumption that I'm responsible to those who are watching me. I am responsible to behave in a manner that won't cause them to stumble or fall or else I'm in trouble. It's a little overwhelming I must admit to have this responsibility. I've based this idea on Luke 17:1. But as I examined it closer today I understand what offence means. It is a deliberate attack on their relationship with God. I am called to live a holy life, but not for the sake of those who are watching me, but for the sake of my soul. I am called to love others around me with the love of Christ, for the sake of their souls. I can do that!